From AskReddit republished here with full permission.

1. She’s got it exactly backwards

“I remember when I used to work on the maternity wards that a baby was born that had black hair to two blonde parents. I was speaking to the father and this didn’t seem to phase him since both of his parents had black hair and he seemed well educated. She on the other hand, when the father left the room, obviously exhausted and slightly confused, said to the midwife “He has black hair! We’re both blonde, who has he been sleeping with? Can I have a maternity test? Do hospitals do that?”

2. Infidelity, a common problem

When I went to the hospital in labor with my first child, the front desk stalled my husband with some paperwork while they took me up to the L&D floor. Since we’d pre-registered, we were a little confused. Once I was alone with a nurse, she asked very seriously if I wanted my husband to be allowed up or if there was someone else I wanted them to call. It was a small rural town and apparently “my husband isn’t the father” was common enough that they had a procedure in place.

3. This husband made a choice

Walked out for a smoke and never came back.