1. I should go out tonight.
2. I’m so tired, though.
3. I always say that, though! I’m always “tired.”
4. I wonder if my friends secretly hate me for almost never hanging out?
5. They still talk to me, so I guess the hatred can’t be that bad.
6. Maybe they’re just really good at faking it? OMG. Maybe they feel bad for me.
7. Feeling bad for someone is almost worse than just straight-up being disliked. I don’t want to be “pathetic.”
8. I just really love my house, okay?!?
9. I’m gonna go out tonight.
10. Or, if not tonight, definitely tomorrow.
11. Ugh, but SNL premieres tomorrow night.
12. I’ll do lunch with someone. Yes. Perfect. I’ll get out of the house for a few hours, so I can stay in tomorrow night and watch Chris Pratt be Chris Pratt.
13. Ugh, but I wanted to do a deep clean tomorrow. Like, wet Swiffer, dry Swiffer, vacuum. Maybe even Magic Erase my kitchen cabinets. If I go to lunch, that’s my whole afternoon.
14. Oh! Breakfast. Duh. A quick breakfast with one or two friends should suffice for my social activity this weekend.
15. Anddd no one wants to go to breakfast.
16. Oh no. Here come the brunch invites.
17. Oh please God no. Not a group text about brunch. OH! THE HUMANITY!
18. I’m gonna suggest brunch at my place. How cute will that be? Everyone can bring a dish, we’ll save money, and I can remain on my couch.
19. “We want to do a boozy brunch, though!” They say. I mean, you guys can bring mimosa fixings?!
20. No dice. Okay, dinner out tonight is doable. I can do it.
21. God, but how good does pizza, wine, and finally finishing “Breaking Bad” sound?
22. I can do that almost any night, though.
23. No I can’t. Every weeknight there’s a bedtime, but Friday. Friday, anything goes!
24. Maybe I’ll just loosely commit to a dinner, and then pray it doesn’t go through? And act all bummed about it, but secretly be over-the-moon that SWEATPANTS.
25. When did I turn 42?
26. Okay. Compromise. I will go out tonight. But, I will take my own car (always) so I can Irish good-bye whenever. Probably before midnight.
27. I’m not trying to make it a late night – I have a lot of nothing to do tomorrow that will require a full energy level. Ugh. Weekends.