I’m officially in my 30s. My heart and mind haven’t been keeping up to be honest. Sometimes, I wish I could just remain that little girl I once was. Life was much easier those days.
As you get older, you learn how to survive and become independent. I remember when I was a little girl, I was so excited to grow up and become an adult. An adult looked so cool, and I couldn’t wait to become one of them. But now that I’m an adult (am I?) it’s not quite what I thought it would turn out to be. Of course, there are so many things that I enjoy as an adult, but sometimes it just sucks. First of all, most of the people work to pay their rent and bills. If you’re lucky, you might end up doing a job you love but let’s be honest here, life isn’t that easy. You would have to work really hard to get what you want, and that sucks up all your energy.
I have been working for 7 years in Tokyo, and I was an independent woman. I was proud of myself and I assume I was doing pretty good. But as the years passed by, I start feeling that something was missing in my life. Then I realized that I was going to hit my 30s soon. I had a job as a translator and it was a steady job which I couldn’t complain about. But I knew I didn’t want to end up in the company I was working at that time.
I’ve always wanted to go overseas and see if I could fill what is missing in my life. Tokyo is an amazing place, but from my perspective, I would say it’s not a place to live long-term. It’s pretty depressing riding the train every day during the rush hours. Everybody looks like a zombie and the train is packed as hell. I couldn’t imagine getting married (yes, I want to get married one day) and having kids in this environment. I decided to quit my job with other various circumstances overlapping. I felt that it was time to make a difference in my life before it’s too late, and I think the fact that I was about to turn 30 also pushed my back. Now I’m back at my hometown and figuring out what my next step will be. I’m definitely determined that I want to step out of Japan and explore another world. Sometimes I think why didn’t I make a move earlier, but it’s never too late to start right?
There are days when I feel overwhelmed of the idea that I’m 30 now, but that’s not going to stop me from doing what I want in life. I don’t know when I will feel like a complete adult, but I came to a realization that maybe I never will be.
The most important thing is to be satisfied with yourself and your life.