1. “We had actually ‘dated’ in elementary school then the summer came and I think we just both sort of forgot. Then my family moved across town and we went to different middle schools. Just in time for my freshman year of high school we moved back. He and I became friends again because we were both in band. Our Junior year we decided to go to prom together ‘as a joke’ because everyone always teased us that we were a couple even though we really were just inseparable BFFs up to that point. After prom he was dropping me off and he just randomly kissed me. When the kiss was over he said ‘I’m sorry, did that feel wrong’ and suddenly I was like ‘holy shit, that felt amazing’ and kissed him back. We went to college together after high school and got married a month after graduation. It was an amazingly simple courtship. He’s still my BFF and I feel blessed far more than I probably deserve.”
—Annie, 26
2. “I worked with my current boyfriend for three years and we became closer and closer friends over those years. He was definitely the office prankster and is just one of those people that makes you feel good to be around. Everyone felt that way. I definitely enjoyed being around him but didn’t feel anything romantic. After the first year of knowing each other his girlfriend broke up with him for another guy. We started hanging out more but still in a friends way. We went to movies and stuff together but they weren’t dates. We were like this for over a year and honestly it was a great year. I would go on dates a lot and think ‘this would be more fun with Rick’ but I still didn’t think of him romantically until I got a job with a different company. Suddenly we didn’t see each other as much anymore and it was really killing me. I spent probably a month trying to sort through my feelings but ultimately just decided that this had to be some kind of love I’d never felt before and didn’t recognize.
So, I called him and we had some chit chat and then I just asked him, ‘Rick, do you want to go on a date with me?’ He sort of chuckled for a second and then said ‘duh, of course.’ It was hilarious and things just fell together after that.”
—Melissa, 29
3. “I first knew there was something more with my current wife when my mother died and she was the only one of my friends to consistently seem to care how I was. I had to go home and help take care of all the arrangements and she would call every night just to tell me she was thinking about me and praying for my family. It meant a lot to me and it was also something that other girls I’d dated would have sort of felt inconvenienced by or only done half-heartedly (which says a lot about them, I think). I started thinking about how people always say couples should also be friends but more importantly I missed her while I was gone.
When I got back I asked her out and she said yes. Five years later we’re married and going strong. I still don’t know how I got so lucky.”
—Darren, 30
4. “I literally got drunk and made out with him. We’d been good friends for about six months and I’d always thought he was cute, yeah, but hadn’t thought any further than that. So we went to his place and made out most of the night and it just grew from there. This sounds really forward I feel especially since I’m actually very shy. So, yeah, thank you alcohol for introducing me to the man I love.”
—Ellen, 26
5. “My current husband and I were friends for three years before we finally got together and he was the first one to catch feelings and tell me he had them. I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time but still said no because we were really close and I think in the back of my mind I knew I needed him in my life as a friend. I later dated a guy for about eight months and when we broke up my then friend again told me he still felt the same and I again said no because the timing was just awful and I wasn’t ready. We got a bit more distant after that and he started to slowly disappear out of my life. I lamented this on the phone with my mother one night and she said ‘it sounds like you’re in love with him.’
I was. I called him and told him he was the most important person in my life. Love doesn’t always look or feel like you think it’s supposed to.”
—Sophia, 28
6. “I was stupid for five years before realizing that my high school best friend who told me she loved me a week before graduation was the perfect person for me. I had in my mind that I was supposed to go off to college and made some goddess intellectual aka the perfect woman. Of course when I actually went it was nothing like that and college was just more regular people. She and I stayed friends irregularly throughout college. We both dated, of course.
After school I moved back home to take a job. She’d gone to school locally. We started hanging out, neither of us were 100% the same people but we still clicked. One night we were drinking and at a bar really late and she brought up her high school confession to me and sort of tried to laugh it off and it struck me like a thunderbolt how much I’d wished I’d seen that confession for what it had been. And I told her ‘I didn’t think it was funny and I don’t think it’s funny now. I wish I’d just stayed here with you instead of leaving’ and she just got up, came around the table and kissed me.
I find this all really hard to put into words because I went through a lot of bad relationships and unhappy times being selfish and shallow without evening knowing it. I just can’t believe I was given a second chance at a time I was mature enough to recognize it for what it was. We’ve been married for two years.”
—Jacob, 25
7. “My story is backwards but you may still want to use it. My wife and I got married when we were both eighteen and the first two years were terrible. Finally got into couples counseling and after a lot of work basically realized that we were trying so hard to fulfill these societal roles of ‘husband and wife’ that we weren’t being people anymore. That realization completely changed our relationship. A year later I can honestly say that she and I are best friends and we have more fun with one another than we do anyone else. It absolutely was not this way ever before.”
—Richard, 28
8. “My wife and I never dated. We were friends for ten years and then one night when we were both single we ended up hooking up. The next morning when we woke up we were both so amazed at how right it felt that we got married and by got married I mean we went and got married two weeks later and we waited two weeks only because we wanted to get less insane prices on our honeymoon.”
—Patrick, 29
9. “I think my story is kind of hilarious. After college, my best friend, who was and is a guy, lol, and I decided to move in together as roommates. There’d never been anything between us and we were both dating other people but nothing super serious. Anyway, we lived together for about six months, both of us working a lot of hours and saving a bunch of money (which is why we’d roomated in the first place) and we both ended up single at the same time. Then one night we’re hanging out watching TV and he turns to me and asked we I thought we’d never dated in a casual way. I honestly couldn’t come up with a good reason and the question kept coming to mind over the next couple of weeks.
So, I asked him out because I was attracted to him and I thought he was a wonderful person. Turns out that we’d both just learned to think of one another as friends and all it took was sort of rethinking one another’s image and suddenly things clicked. It really makes me wonder what I was taught as a kid that kept me from seeing this in the first place.”
—Caroline, 24
10. “Were friends in college but she and I hooked up one night. We both sort of awkwardly laughed it off because we were friends and I felt like anything more would ruin our friendship. Also, wanted to seem cool like it was no big deal. Things go back to how they were. A month later she starts seeing a dude. Things seem like they might be getting serious. I freak out and realize I completely have feelings for her. Knock on her dorm door at like 2am on a Saturday night. Thankfully she’s alone. Tell her I’m crazy about her and that I think about being with her all the time which was the truth. She feels conflicted but ultimately decides that she shouldn’t be seeing anyone if she feels conflicted.
Another month or so passes. Super torturous for me. I think about her every day but give her space. She calls me out of the blue one day, tells me she’d like to ‘try us out’ and see. I tell her that sounds fair trying to keep my cool but inside my heart is leaping out of my chest. Two years later we’re still dating. About to start ring shopping. Life is good.”
—Greg, 23 
