I know you don’t feel okay right now. I know your body is worn out, and your soul is tired. I know that the anxiety keeps coming back, and the sadness keeps flooding your mind. I know you aren’t okay, and I know all you want to be is okay. I can see it written all over your face.
I can see the dark shadows under your eyes and the tightness in your shoulders. I can see the slight hunch in your posture, and the brokenness of your smile. I can see how lonely you feel. How lost you feel.
I so badly wish there was something I could do to make you feel okay again. I wish I could give you a special tonic to ease the pain. I wish a band-aid could heal your wound. I wish I had magic words to mend your broken spirit. But there are no tonics or magic words. There are no quick cures to save a defeated heart.
But there is something I do want you to know; something that I think you should hear.
So here goes:
You deserve happiness. And I mean real happiness; true happiness. The kind of happiness that makes your heart fill with warmth.
And you deserve to feel what it feels like to be okay. To feel like the world isn’t against you. To feel like you aren’t constantly treading water just to keep from drowning. More than anything, you deserve to be okay.
And I know it’s hard to hear this, especially when you are so sad. Especially when you are so far away from loving yourself. But I still want you to know. Because one day, you are going to feel okay again. One day you are going to feel happy again. It’s just a matter of time.
But for now, remember that you are special. You are special even when you are feeling anxious. You are special even when you are feeling lonely. You are special even when your friends aren’t checking on you to see how you are. You are special even when you wear the same old pajamas two days in a row. You are special even when you spend your entire day at home scrolling aimlessly on your phone wishing for something or someone to make you smile again.
And just so you know, you will smile again. You are loved. And you are not alone. Not even in the least bit.
You are so special. And one day you will feel special. You will feel okay. You really will.
But until then, it’s okay to not do anything today. Or tomorrow. It’s okay to not be productive. It’s okay to not get “enough” done. Because sometimes, the hardest part of life is just getting by. The hardest part of life is just waking up and living through the day. The hardest part of life is just holding on.
So if you spend today, or the next few days, just trying to survive. it’s okay.
This hard time, this anxious time, this troubling time – it won’t last forever. It’s just a season. It’s a harder phase of life. It’s an exhausting time of life. But it will lift. You just have to keep going.
So put on your coziest pants. Make yourself a mug of tea. And do whatever it takes to stay afloat.
You deserve happiness, and it will find you. It will just take time.