Cody Delistraty

They cannot focus on one thing quite like the average person. Essentially, their stream of ideas is always running — the tap does not shut off — and, as a result, creative people show schizophrenic, borderline manic-depressive tendencies.

“Friends make the worst enemies.”

“And she’s got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.”

“Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.”

“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?”

Most everyone dreams each and every night, it’s just that often we don’t recognize we’re dreaming and we don’t register it as anything important.

“I can’t keep referring to basketball players as Khloe Kardashian’s husband and his friends.”

We like to think that as much as it felt like love, our first romances were predicated on infatuation and newness — that what we felt wasn’t actually love. Yet, I think it was.

Indeed, if love is one’s end goal of life — if it is what will bring us happiness and banish loneliness — then why must it also be so dreadful?

Tucking yourself tightly under the covers so things can’t get you.

The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don’t have to pay taxes — naturally, no one wants to live any other way.

The awkward glances, the slow hour-and-a-half you spend staring at a movie screen, inching – centimetering, really – your hand towards theirs.

It’s important to reflect on whether this person is “the one” because you’re madly, deeply in love and would do nearly anything to make them happy, or because they meet all your ideal requirements and fit into the perfect picture of your life.

“How to read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone? Why, very quickly, to begin with, and perhaps also to make an end. Why read it? Presumably, if you cannot be persuaded to read anything better, Rowling will have to do.”

I’ve never really understood the idea of straight girls going shopping with their gay best friend. I get that straight men generally aren’t keen to go shopping and gay men stereotypically are, but if she needs to look good for an upcoming date, I would think a straight girl would want a straight guy to help her out.

Don’t even think about taking the girl you love to Paris or Rome or London or somewhere beautiful and far away.

It’s a way to prove our masculinity and it’s just as biological as the sexual drive that led us to that woman in the first place. Essentially, it’s a way to say, I’m a more qualified mate than you.

Anytime we’re being served, whether it’s at a restaurant, department store, or at Starbucks, the way we treat those who are serving us speaks loads about our character.