Christopher Hudspeth

When we’re in public and we spot a fit dude with chiseled abs, a pec-tacular chest and no shirt, it’s easy to say, “What a tool/douche/showoff/shmuck, etc.” But what if that man isn’t built like a Greek god? When a pudgy, doughy-bodied dude goes shirtless, we don’t say a word.

Calling spaghetti “pasquetti” isn’t cute anymore. Say “spa.” Now say “ghetti.” Spaghetti.

When dining at a fast food joint, ask for a water cup, and then fill it with Sprite. You may be obeying your thirst, but you damn sure ain’t abiding by the law.

Completing a form on the internet without missing a required field, on the first attempt.

Don’t spend too much time on Instagram trying to decide if Hudson or Amaro is the more aesthetically pleasing effect on your picture.

If you watched Rocko’s Modern Life as a child, I’m certain you were too youthful and naïve to fully appreciate the adult jokes and innuendo that the cartoon was chock-full of.

When you’re in a relationship, often times it seems that everybody wants you. Of course as soon as you’re single nobody even glances in your direction, making you remorseful that you may have missed out on what could’ve been a great sexual encounter or even your future husband/wife.

Waterproof Cell Phones. Throwing friends into the pool is a lost art, do you know why that is? Well you can ask Siri, but my guess is that nobody wants to be responsible for ruining someone’s $500 iPhone.

For the sake of authenticity, television shows should have characters who aren’t busy spewing dialogue, utilizing their iPhones and Droids regularly.

1. People who start to say something attention-grabbing but then stop. EXAMPLE: “Oh my God! Did I tell you about what happened with Karen and I the other night?! — Actually, never mind…”

Just to give you an idea how awful of an investment the lottery is, here are a few things you have better odds of than winning it: 1. Odds of dying from parts falling off of an airplane…