11. Taking things literally can lead to confusion, but at the end of the day, 11:59.
12. What did Lil Jon do when the hardware store employee tried to sell him a lightbulb? Turned down 4 Watt.
13. What do you call the sound a dog makes when it’s choking on a piece of its owner’s jewelry? A diamond in the ruff.
14. Accidentally broke my Irish friend’s Pixar movie. He wasn’t amused, but he did say “You cracked me Up.”
15. The smell of a deli can make you crave a sandwich subconsciously.
16. Who loves organic orange soda? Kale loves organic orange soda.
17. What do you call the heavy breathing someone makes while trying to hold their downward facing dog pose? Yoga pants.
18. How do you make a digital school bus? With special effects.
19. Someone gave me the wrong directions to a massage parlor — it rubbed me the wrong way.