1.

why do Germans love Americans? because Americans are the most hated people in the world now.

2.

What do sex in a canoe and American beer have in common? They’re both fucking close to water.

3.

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

4.

I had to go see my doctor today because I’m having an unusual problem. I say to him, “I’ve got a problem, every time I finish masturbating I sing the American national anthem”.

The doctor said, “Don’t worry, a lot of wankers sing that”.

5.

How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?

4.

6.

What’s the difference between the US and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.

7.

Knock knock?
Who’s there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said you would never forget… :(

8.

What do you call a worker in America that will work hard for reasonable pay and never whine?

An immigrant.

9.

what happened when the american broke his arm?

he went broke.

10.

My friend calls me up and asks “Hey are you free tonight?”

And I say of course, I’m American.