5. The guy was about to jump, but not the kind you’d probably expect.

Not me, but my dad’s friend is a cop and he told me this story.

So, we live in a small town southern city, and while I don’t know of many people who live in a trailer park, there are some scattered around the area. Well, in one of these parks someone called in a suicide attempt or something along the lines of that and he was the closest to the incident so he was the first one to show up. Now, he was thinking it would be a domestic violence dispute but he wasn’t sure.

Well, when he got there, he could see a lot of people scattered around one trailer in particular. Some were screaming “Don’t do it!” into the trailer, others yelling at him to go in and do something without fully telling him what’s going on besides saying someone inside was going to kill themselves. So he goes in, gun drawn, walks to the bedroom, and opens the door…

What he sees is a man standing on the bed, threatening to jump into the ceiling fan going at full throttle to kill himself. While my friend was trying not to laugh at the man, he eventually talked him down and took him to the local hospital to get the man some help. He said he isn’t sure what happened to him afterwards. Although he loves telling the story whenever he is around.

6. The guy wasted no time.

My dad was a cop in New Zealand for 25 years and the one he remembers most was “Paddy Fast Car.”

He was in Auckland before I was born, (1982-ish) and was on his way to the airport to catch a 8pm flight to Wellington when a car cuts him off going way too fast. Dad flicks on the lights, pulls the guy over and it’s a hammered drunk Irishman.

Dad doesn’t want to miss his flight so he radios for someone to come handle this guy, waits for them to show then leaves him with this guy. Dad calls the cop later and the guy blew twice over the limit, they threw him in the drunk tank to sober up and charged him in the morning and let him leave about noon.

About six, dad’s in Wellington, back on shift. He’s driving along the water front and some asshole cuts him off going way too fast. Dad flicks on his lights and pulls him over and the same Irishman who looks at him and goes “You again!!”. Dad says “Jesus Christ, Paddy, how the hell did you get down here so fast, you were only let out at noon!” and the guy looks at him and mumbles “It’s a very fast car, a very fast car; shall we go then?”

Just for some perspective, it’s a 7 1/2 hour drive between Auckland and Wellington, according to google maps, but back then the roads were much worse so it could easily take 8-9 hours.