12. Apparently undercover cops sometimes go as the KKK.
These two guys were doing 8 years apiece. One was from Detroit and the other was from South Carolina. Detroit was a big Bob Marley pothead and South Carolina was this super redneck. We ended up buddying up and they told me what they were in for. They had both been stationed together in the army and both had been discharged for marijuana. So they were both stuck in North Carolina and decided to sneak back onto base. They stole some morphine and body armor. South Carolina got up with the KKK and tried to sell them the morphine and body armor. Turns out the KKK was actually the Feds and they got busted. I thought that shit was pretty crazy, but I guess it really isn’t crazy by Internet standards.
13. Yeah, prison just sounds more kooky than anything else.
It’s not necessarily the most outrageous story I could come up with, but it’s certainly the one that made me “WTF” the most…
I was at the top end of a 10 1/2 month sentence at Theo Lacy Jail in Santa Ana, California. My cell, as well as four others, were open for recreation time (about an hour). I was casually strolling to the shower located in the center of the block–I had to pass 3 other open cells to get there–and I heard one large and cliché African American gentleman say to another, “If you want Reuben Sandwiches for dinner, we’re going to have to stop by the market for cheese.”
I, as subtly as possible, peered over to see one guy standing at his cell table, putting together a Ramen Noodle Soup while the other sat on the toilet…presumably shitting.
Jail isn’t inherently bad, it’s just a little loopy sometimes. I assume they were ‘t having a discussion–just a well-rehearsed and orchestrated exercise in emotional futility.
14. Pretty dark.
My brother had the guy in the bunk above him commit suicide during the night and woke up to blood dripping on his face when he was serving 6 months for cocaine possession.
15. A clever man!
Not me, but my cousin. He told me about some crazy shit he saw in prison. The story that sticks out in my mind was one about an HIV positive prisoner who put his blood on arrows that were shot at the guards. The bow and arrows were made out of newspapers that were petrified with toilet water.
16. I imagine this would be pretty scarring.
Former CO here, I have lots of stories. I once held an inmate in my arms at a half way house as he overdosed on heroin. We believe his wife brought it to him. She arrived shortly after the ambulance. Ill never forget the look on their children’s faces, haunts me to this day.
While working in prison I regularly had to restrain certain inmates that would become extremely aroused from being restrained and would masturbate to it once the cuffs were removed.
