Many people have what they like to call their “crazy ex”, but few can say that they actually dated someone who is 100 percent actually psychotic. But Twitter user @Hoemar__ (or Omar, as I’ll call him) definitely wins the prize for craziest ex girlfriend story, which is all kinds of weird.
Buckle up, friends. It’s going to be a long, bumpy ride.
Aight so story of my psycho ex:
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
It all started like every love story: actually kind of cute.
She was a lil cutie in my English class, never had the balls to talk to her UNTIL
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
So anyways we started rehearsing lines and it was fun but that's all we would really talk about..
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
BUT THEN SHAWTY COMES UP TO ME IN TNE HALL DURING PASSING PERIOD
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
We started texting and soon we went on our first date. Picked her up some roses and took her to Texas Roadhouse
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
WORST MISTAKE OF MY DAMN LIFE YO
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
And here’s where the story starts getting insane.
And of course football is a huge priority, it's my future. So I would stay for practice daily and I'd even practice on the weekend w my pops
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
So I told her like na this ain't gonna work if you can't ride for me. You supposed to motivate and inspire me not put me down
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
One night after my game some girls tried to take a picture with me, I was like yea sure right it's just a picture. But my gf went crazy
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
So I told her wth was that. And she just said she loved me too much and didn't want any other girl to take me from her… I let it slide
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
Best believe she was pissed. She told the teacher to sit me with her or with boys. Like tf??
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
After this I was beginning to suspect she was lil crazy yo
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
Oh, really, Omar? You were just beginning to suspect this?
SHE DIDNT ALLOW THE YEARBOOK PPL TO TAKE PICS OF ME AND THE HOCO QUEEN. AND SHE PULLED US APART WHEN WE DID THE HOCO KING/QUEEN DANCE
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
So she start throwing a damn fit and making a scene there at school. Screaming that she loved me and nobody was gonna love me like her
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
SOOO days later me and family were going on a family reunion during the weekend, so I told her I was gonna be busy with FAMILY
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
Family reunion day comes right and she hasn't texted me all day. I thought it was kinda fishy but I went on with my day
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
Being jealous of other women is one thing, but this ex took it way too far when Omar’s family became involved.
A few hours passed and I finally checked my phone. 49 MESSAGES. 26 MISSED CALLS.
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
As soon as I was gonna call her back SHE SHOWS UP AT MY FAMILY REUNION
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
BUT WAIT
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
Yes, but wait.
BUT WAITTTTT
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
She hits me back with "I shared your location with me while you were sleeping" YO WTF
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
AND WVEN WORST MY PHONE HAD A PASSWORD THAT I NEVER TOLD HER WHAT IT WAS
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
So my aunt comes our way trynna calm us down right. And she pushes her and screams at her to "stop ducking my bfs dick"
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
AND MY AUNT. LIKE WHY TF WOULD SHE EVEN THINK THAT
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
Think she’s crazy? Oh, you just wait.
So she had driven there in her car right. So I told her to leave but I wasn't gonna let her leave alone in her condition so I went with her
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
HUGE MISTAKE SMH NEVER LET A CRAZY MAD GIRL DRIVE YO
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
I told her that this wasn't gonna work out, that she's a bit extra and that we should see other people
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
She started screaming crying saying that if she couldn't have me that nobody else could. That we belong together till death do us part😰
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
So this girl starts speeding up. We were in a construction zone (damn valley always in construction)
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
Aight so the road was a 2 lane road right. One coming. One going.
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
SO THIS LUNATIC GETS ON THE OPPOSITE LANE AND SPEEDS UP AND A CAR WAS COMING STRAIGHT AT US AND THIS GIRL KEPT SPEEDING LORD
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
But lord this girl became strong and would not let go
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
it was either getting back with this girl or death
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
So back to our lane we go. Safety. We reach her house and she invites me inside
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
"Oh no baby what is you doing"
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
Apparently Omar has not learned from his mistakes.
Like who could even think about sex when you nearly almost killed us??!!!????
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
But she kept insisting so who was I do say no. (Would've probably cut my dick off I had said no)
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
Yea I thought wrong
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
Come on, Omar, I was rooting for you! We were all rooting for you!!!
Then spring break came
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
Mind of course I understand that even if I had a wack ass gf. I was still taken and should respect that
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
And this was the spring break where big Sean and j Cole came down
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
Anyways we got ready, I just wore shorts and a regular shirt
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
I had a good feeling bout this night ya know
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
She told me she'd be right back and I was like oh ok cause Cole ya know
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
So this girl in front of me starts dancing on me
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
AND THATS WHEN MY GF COMES RIGHT BACK
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
SO I WAS LIKE OMG IM SO PROUD OF YOU BABYGIRL YOU AINT GO CRAZY ON HER
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
You’re enthusiasm is a little premature, Omar.
Concert ended and we were just walking down the beach. Hella fun and cute
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
She answers it (God knows who's iPhone this was)
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
So my girl was like yea meet us that hotel we staying at
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
So I was like ehh it's just the girl of the phone
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
Best believe I jumped out of the shower and put on some clothes real quick
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
THAT ITS THE DAMN GIRL WHO WAS DANCING ON ME
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
And I overhead my lil lunatic say "hoe I know you want to fuck my bf I stole your phone so you would come to me and I could make u F off"
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
But this where it gets crazy y'all
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 30, 2017
Are you telling me it gets crazier?!
Should've
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
so I was like yo wtf leave this girl alone. She got even more angry cause I was defending the girl. Rip me.
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
So my gf was like yea I'll give you your damn phone you stupid pendeja
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
So she goes to her backpack (which was in the bed) and me and the girl stayed near the door and I was just apologizing
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
As soon as I saw it I knew this was it
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Never saw that girl who danced on me again in my life
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
But she kept coming to me saying that she love me so much
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
SO SHES LIKE FINE
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Of course it’s not that easy, though.
So I went to get my shit to leave and she hits me with "I'm gonna kill myself life without you isn't worth living I love you"
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
I took her back and I made her promise me she was gonna go to anger management classes
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
She was finally Learning how to control her anger and craziness.
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Or was she?
And then
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Got her flowers and a cookie cake and a necklace with my name on it. Y'all think this was a good gift?
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Anyways so I pull up to her house right and I did notice a random truck close to where I usually park but whatever I went in (I had a key)
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
I OPEN THE DOOR
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
NAKED ON TOP OF A ANOTHER NAKED GIRL
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Bet y'all didn't see this coming
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Oh, but it’s not over yet.
BUT THEN THE NAKED GIRL TURNS AROUND YO
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
IT WAS ONE OF MY COUSINS FROM THE REUNION.
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Told y'all, y'all weren't ready yo
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
SHOOK.
"I'm fucking done with you" is all said before I left
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
ANYWAYS
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
She dared to show up at my house
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
I WAS LIKE NO ION WANNA HEAR IT IVE PUT UP W U NOT LETN ME TAKE PICS W GIRLS NOT LETN ME GRIND, ACUSING MY AUNT AND THROWN A LAMP @ A HOE
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
So I broke up with her
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
FINALLY!
For a while she was a stalker and hella petty
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Even had this as her bio for some time pic.twitter.com/QkbFBErSH1
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
BUT! It’s still not over, guys. Get ready for this.
YALL READY FOR THE END
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Y'all remember how a girl stood me up for prom and fucked my "friend" Brandon?
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
And then she fucked Brandon and got pregnant. THATS THAT
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
TURNS OUT
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
KEEP IN MIND I HADNT TALKED TO HER IN TWO WHOLE YEARS
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Y'all wanna see the convo???
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
convo part 1 pic.twitter.com/KXAI0lVGju
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
And part 2 pic.twitter.com/icSOh9g1uI
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
But why stop there?
Yup there's more
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
The 52 year old
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Drinking some Dr.Pepper (the best)
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
and I see my cousin coming out the back door
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
BUT WAIT
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
I mean I was shook
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
But whatever right? Shit happens so I went on eating my fajita
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Get ready for the grand finale, my friends.
My aunt (the 52 year old) says there's some announcement going on
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
So whatever I'm there waiting for the damn announcement
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
GETS DOWN ON ONE KNEE AND BUSTS OUT A RING
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Talking bout love and shit
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
She was like "it's true. We do crazy things for the ones we love"
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
"OMAR WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
DEAD.
And I thought she was gonna go lunatic on my ass
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Walked all the to my cousin
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
My cousin said yes
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Consider yourselfs invited
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
I'll update y'all don't worry
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
Oh and by the way, everything is 100% true in this thread
— Hoemar (@Hoemar___) May 31, 2017
At least there was a happy ending? 
