There are so many things we identify with, so many ways we decide who we are based on style that we admire and opinions that are the collective average of the people we surround ourselves with. We’re so disconnected from our core selves, we latch onto everything around us to try to compile a person from confusion.
And all you end up with are the pieces of somebody else’s life.
It’s the advice you’re given all the time, though it’s often ignored because we don’t know where to start: knowing yourself, becoming your own locus of control, is the most important thing in the world. You can’t expect to find somebody who loves you for you when you don’t even know who you are. You’re not going to know what dreams you want to follow; you’ll trap yourself in the could and should and must of a person you’re only pretending to be.
Nobody is looking for a relationship with someone who most seamlessly appears perfect. The people who know themselves know what kind of person complements them best, and so they pursue that. You can’t expect to find your mirror match when your reflection is foggy and blocked.
The most attractive people in the world are not usually the most conventionally good looking — people find that boring. They’re the ones who are most put-together in the sense that they reflect their personalities physically, and that draws people in. They have something nobody else can replicate, and their personal style starts extending to every aspect of their lives.
When they are projecting the core essence of themselves, they’re able to find things that suit and fit their wants and needs. Things come together when you start to know yourself.
Being honest with yourself makes you fearless. The person you are isn’t so easily affected by negative opinions from others because you don’t feel as though who you are is something that should or for that matter can be changed — so you don’t get anxious about what other people say. The root of caring what other people think is assuming what they think needs to change what you think.
If you never take the initiative to be honest with yourself, you’ll never know what you want. You’ll never excel at anything because you won’t be passionate enough to do whatever it takes. You’ll never be able to find that essence that nobody else can replicate — that is solely your own. You’ll remain an untapped well… of yourself.
This post brought to you by Gap. Dress Normal.