Maybe we can choose how we experience things, but what the universe takes and gives us is out of our control. Could there be an innate derivative of ourselves that always brings us back to the truth that we know? The truth we know we’re supposed to live. The person we know we’re supposed to love.
I did not want to be a writer. I didn’t think I was good enough, nor did I think I had anything of value to say. So I avoided this adamantly and planned to pursue a career somewhere in the same field, but certainly not by the way of expressing my own opinions and personal life publicly. Needless to say, it all caught up with me eventually, and I look back and realize that I have known this all along.
I don’t think it’s a matter of something else choosing for us as it is that we chose but we’re not conscious of it anymore. Somehow, in a thousand different little ways, we have this internal navigation system that tells us where we’re supposed to be, but never why. So we let our simple, human minds try to make sense of it all, but never to any avail, of course. And these choices we are unaware that we made, they lead us to different places for specific reasons that we’re ignorant toward usually. It’s like there is this meticulous plan in place that drives us from one event to another, and teaches us where we’re lost, and shows us what we can’t see.
Why, if we believe we choose our experiences, do we choose what we do? What is it that tells us who we are and shows us how we’re supposed to be? You can blame it on society, or the way we were raised, but if that were true, people would conform to what was taught to them, and of course that is not true at all. It’s because there is a truth within each of us that we can either choose to live out or spend the rest of our days fighting.
Maybe there are different roads we can choose to take, but the destinations will always be the same. Maybe some things are chosen for us, and if we learn to accept that and accept them, we’ll find nirvana. Maybe it’s just time we stop thinking anybody knows better than our souls do, and follow that instinct with reckless certainty.
Whether or not you’re comfortable acknowledging it, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You know, even though swaths of you deny and fight it, where you need to be, and what you need to do, and who you really want to be with. You know, because you’ve seen, that it always comes back, no matter how far we run. So maybe it’s time to stop thinking through what we already know so adamantly and start acting on it.