1. They let their preoccupations with expectations determine their course of action. They lose their ability to decide for themselves when they start believing that the opinion that matters is any one that is not their own.
2. Only thinking within the confines of the surface level of any given situation. This existence is a morphing of dimensional realities that we cannot even begin to understand. There is only one plot in life: nothing is ever as it seems.
3. Thinking as though new love won’t come, or that anything is final. Nothing is forever but death. You will always look back and want to kick yourself for the time you spent worrying about things that you already knew the universe would work out for you.
4. Never taking the time to work through their unresolved issues of adolescence. You can’t expect to build a new house with the broken pieces from the last one. Everybody has a story, and everybody has things they’re holding on to: some people deal with them better than others. Work through it before it works through you.
5. Holding onto the adolescent, immature self-talk that we are all guilty of at one point or another. It’s the only way to ensure your failure: tell yourself you will.
6. Never learning the art of apologizing. Being right is not what’s most important. It’s learning to see when you’re wrong, or when you want to let go of the argument because the person you’re arguing with means more than your pride does.
7. Not realizing what really matters: the people you love, and the little pleasures you relish in. People can fill their lives to the brim with things that don’t really matter, and they’ll always feel empty in the end, and will fall from that wondering how they could be so miserable when they’re so fortunate. It’s because most people have the wrong idea of what fortunate means.
8. Convincing themselves that they have no role in their own happiness, that they are at the whim of what is done unto them. If you live with this mindset, I promise, you will never find happiness. This world was not crafted for the sake of consistent comfort. It was designed to challenge you, and if you think sitting pretty and playing the victim all the time is going to get you anywhere but dug deeply in a hole of your own self-pity, think again.
9. Never mustering up the courage to do what it is they know is right in their hearts. That’s always the truth: we know what to do, we don’t want to deal with the consequences of doing it. We can convince ourselves otherwise, but it will always be the reality of any decision we struggle to make.
10. Dependence on feelings, substances or people. I don’t mean to bring addiction into this, because it’s a sticky beast and I would not imply that it’s a choice. I mean this on a much more micro level: the idea that without so-and-so, or this thing or that thing, or fully living some lifestyle, we’re nothing.
11. Never learning the art of being. There is an inextricable beauty that lies within us, and we see it when we realize the power in just learning to be. By this, I mean, learning to embrace whatever the circumstances are, to ground ourselves in the present moment, to release ourselves from attachment to the ego, and to be grateful for the tiny, beautiful things we do have.
12. The idea that one is above something, like living within their means. As a general principle, every aspect of our beings are equal. No one person is above someone else by means of wealth, achievement, etc. If anything at all, those who are better off are the ones who have learned that the things that traditionally make someone of higher society are not the things that matter after all.
13. Consistently honing in on what’s negative. Keep saying you’re broke, and you’ll be broke always. Start saying you’re rich, and watch it pour in. Fake it until you make it. I know it sounds overly-ideal but I promise you the power of positive reinforcement is greater than your realize.
14. Not learning how to say goodbye. To places, people, experiences. You cant go forth with the ruins of the past. You have to learn to mourn properly. You have to be able to let go when you know it is indeed time to do so.
15. Becoming too attached to something physical. In the end, you are all you will ever have, and you are the only thing you can rely on always being there.
16. Thinking that that one love they had is the only love that validates them or that they’ll ever have in the future. I swear that’s the reason half the people I know stay in relationships… it’s not about loving someone as much is it is about loving what someone can give to you.