I know you’ve thought about leaving, how could you not?
You stay for the good days because in your mind the good outweigh the bad. But that’s not the only reason you stay; I know you stay because you’re more afraid of leaving than anything. I know you’re more afraid to be alone and have to move on without them because truthfully it’s terrifying.
You aren’t ready for the conversation, you aren’t ready for the tears and the fight. You aren’t ready for the emptiness and the overwhelming sadness that you know you’ll feel. No one’s ready for that and it’s something you can’t prepare yourself for either – no matter how much you convince yourself you’ll be okay.
Don’t just stay in the relationship because it seems better than having to walk away. Don’t stay because you’re afraid of what will come after them. Don’t stay because you know everyone else in your life likes them because they aren’t the one who’s dating them, you are.
So honestly ask yourself – are the good times really that much better than the bad? Are they worth the constant fights and arguments and degrading comments? Are they worth the never ending thought cycle that’s spins around in your head?
Only you can really answer that.
But this isn’t as good as it get, you know?
It does get better and it will get better, if you allow yourself to have it.
I know you’ve got your heart set on them and only them still, but the hesitation in your voice when you speak about them is getting hard not to notice. You always talk about how lately things haven’t been like they used to.
But it’s because you’ve grown comfortable together, maybe not you personally, but they have. They’ve become used to everything you do. They know when you fight that it will be over soon enough; they know that you’ll come back like you always do. They’ve grown accustomed to who you are and they know exactly what to say to make you feel better.
A relationship can’t grow in comfort – comfort doesn’t allow room for growth, ever. In order to grow you both have to be willing to grow together, you have to be willing to communicate and work on things. You have to acknowledge each other’s strengths and weaknesses, not use them as targets to tear each other apart.
You can stick up for them all you want when your friends all say things to you about how your relationship has become toxic, but it’s up to you to make the final call. It’s up to you to decide to walk away from somewhere you feel unwanted.
Being there when it’s convenient for them isn’t a relationship, it’s a convenient-ship. No one wants someone who only wants them when it’s convenient.
You deserve someone who wants you there all the time; someone who wants you there when they’re happy and sad; someone who wants you there through the good times and the bad. You don’t want to be their punching bag, you shouldn’t allow yourself to be their punching bag. You aren’t someone they can take all their anger out on and you shouldn’t stand for that.
It’s not my relationship, but it’s hard to watch you go through it. It’s hard to know that you’re in a comfortable relationship with someone who is only half invested when you’re completely committed.
It isn’t fair to you, so why are you putting yourself through this torture?
Being alone is scary, but you know what’s scarier? Spending your life with someone who makes you feel alone because you didn’t walk away when you had the chance.