1. It’s way too easy to know someone is ignoring you.
Modern dating comes with modern technology…which is great! Unless you’re an over-thinker. With everyone plugged in 24/7, knowing when someone isn’t texting you back has become nauseatingly easy. And sure, it’s not like you expect someone to respond to you ASAP, but when you see them Snapchatting and tweeting, and not replying to your innocent lil’ text, your heart does that sad dropping thing. And because you’re an over-thinker, you jump to the worst possible scenario.
2. Two words: emoji anxiety.
I mean, why even text each other words when we could just EMOJI? *cue gentle panic attack* There are so many options!! Which smiling emoji do you use? The beaming one? 😃 The blushing one? 😊 That winky bastard? 😉 Far too many opportunities for emoji meaning to get misunderstood. But at least we all know what this means 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆.
3. The typing text dot, dot, dot, of DOOM.
If the above photo doesn’t instantly induce stress in you, then idk. Good for you for being SO GOOD AT LIFE AND DATING AND WHATEVER! For us over-thinkers, it’s Hell. We sit and wait, while in Hell.
4. Becoming stuck in dating app limbo.
It’s not uncommon now for people to meet online. The stigma attached to online dating is slowly disappearing as more and more couples admit that, yes, they did swipe right. But because there’s an abundance of dating apps, it brings a whole new set of uncomfortable questions: “Are you still on Tinder? Should I still be on Tinder? Did you delete your account or just temporarily deactivate? WHAT THE F*CK IS BUMBLE?!?!?”
5. The, ‘Oh, we’re just talking’ phase.
This phase is the over-thinker’s kryptonite. Like, what does that even mean? Are you dating? Are you literally just talking — like having very average conversations that don’t mean anything?! Almost anything can full under the “talking” category and it will drive a poor over-thinker insane. JUST NARROW IT DOWN, PLZ!
6. The dreaded, ‘What are we? Like…on Facebook?’
The relationship status question is already awkward, but now you have to worry about whether you should announce it to all your friends — or more accurately, people you haven’t talked to since your high school graduation.
(But on the real, RIP to Facebook as it slowly dies. All hail Twitter, the reigning King)
7. You know exactly what their exes look like.
Because Instagram is there to remind you that their last bae is f*cking gorgeous. Thanks, Instagram. Thanks sooooo much. You’re so considerate.
8. Sexting is low-key terrifying.
WHAT IF SOMEONE HACKS YOUR ICLOUD AND YOUR NUDES GET LEAKED? THAT’S A THING THAT HAPPENS, YOU KNOW. (Ya, you’re really fun at parties)
9. You literally never know if you’re on a date.
*steps up to marriage altar, turns to partner*
“Just wanna make sure, is this a date?”
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) April 26, 2016
You relate to the above tweet on a spiritual level. Deciphering the difference between platonic intentions and romantic intentions will be the end of you.
10. Netflix and chill was a GOD DAMN LIE.
And honestly, you’re still not over it.