20 Selina Meyer Quotes That Tragically Remind Us Our Current Political System Is Way Too Similar To A Satire Comedy Show


1. “And you know why? Because they’re ignorant, and they’re dumb as shit. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is democracy.”

2. “God, there’s so many people in here. It’s like a Mormon orgy.”

3. “You want me to be some sorta party puppet? You can stick your hand up my ass and work my mouth?”

4. “In your country, people fuck snow. And I hope you understand that I say that with the utmost respect.”

5. “Go, period. Fuck, period. Yourself, EXCLAMATION POINT!”


6. “Europe used to be my favorite continent. Now it’s not even in my Top-5.”

7. [Gary excited about winning Vermont and Connecticut] “Okay, settle down. A bowl of hair could win those states.”

8. Selina Meyer: “Are you okay?”
Kent Davison: “Kind of… in a way, and also not. In a third way, both.”
Selina Meyer: “What are you talking about? What is it? Are we at war?”
Kent Davison: “Ma’am, we’re America, we’re always at war.”

9. “I’ve met some people, some real people, and I gotta tell ya, a lot of them are fucking idiots.

10. “You stop interrupting me, you stupid fucking interrupt-y guy.”


11. “You bet it was. It was a huge pleasure to meet me.”

12. “I’d rather set fire to my vulva, so that’s a no.”

13. “I’m fluent in bastard.”

14. “I’m the Vice President of the United States, you stupid little fuckers! These people should be begging me! That door should be half its height so that people can only approach me in my office on their goddamn, motherfucking knees!”

15. “Yeah, now look at me. I have a dick AND balls.”


16. “Ok, Catherine, you know that I am not a racist. My boyfriend in college was a quarter Cherokee, so…”

17. “I’m going to completely obliterate him with my fucking poise and sophistication. Know what I mean?”

18. “He’s trying to screw me. I’m gonna go stab him.”

19. “Okay, you need to calm the fuck down, Judge Judy.”

20. “God, I would love to fuck a firefighter. Hey, I’m the president. I can fuck anybody I want now, right?”

Thought Catalog Logo Mark

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

Keep up with Ari on Instagram and Amazon

More From Thought Catalog