35 Suuuuper Normal Thoughts To Have When They Haven’t Texted Back Yet

Keeping Up With The Kardashians
Keeping Up With The Kardashians

1. They’re probably still sleeping. Some of us need
a little longer to snooze. 3 pm isn’t THAT late.

2. Any minute now, they’ll be waking up. Mhmm. Any. Minute. Now.

3. Well, obviously their phone died and they can’t find their charger. I bet they’re in a pure panic, turning over everything in the house looking for that sneaky thing.

4. Poor thing. It sucks to lose a charger.

5. Oh wait, did I forget to press send?

6. Lol, I bet I forgot to press send. I’m such a goof sometimes :) :) :) !!!

7. Hm, nope. Looks like it sent. And was delivered.

8. UNLESS!!!!

9. Unless my phone is actually broken. Because that’s a thing that happens. You know?

10. Maybe I should call Verizon to double check.

11. Do you think something really bad happened?

12. Do you think they were kidnapped?

13. Do you think they got into a gang fight all West Side Story ish and ended up getting knifed?

14. Do you think they watched a terrible crime unfold and were immediately taken into the witness protection program?

15. Do you think they fell onto Subway tracks and are now in a comatose state?

16. God dammit, if I had been there I could have Sandra Bullock-ed them to safety.

17. I wonder if While You Were Sleeping is on Netflix.

18. I should send another text.

19. Just to let them know While You Were Sleeping is not available anymore. Get it together, Netflix.

20. Just one lil’ breezy text. It’s not a big deal.

21. Not all double texts are bad.

22. Not all double texts are created equally.

23. At this point, it’s a matter of safety. I might be the only one to realize they’ve disappeared.

24. Their life depends on me.

25. Shit, that’s a lot of responsibility.

26. Okay, I’ll send something super casual. Like, “Omg, I just ran into someone who could be your identical twin. Freaky.”

27. Yeah, that’s perfect. I’m an actual genius.

28. Still nothing.

29. THEY HATE ME.

30. I’M A GARBAGE PERSON AND EVERYTHING I DO IS TRASH.

31. Go ahead and call me Oscar the Grouch because I BELONG IN THE TRASH.

32. You know what?!?! Screw them. It’s their loss. I’m not trash. I’m a treasure.

33. Bruno Mars wrote that song about me.

34.…I’ll feel really bad if they somehow did die.

35. But dammit, I’ll look fly af at the funeral. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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