Let’s face it: People ghost and it sucks.
You start dating someone for a few weeks and suddenly, out of nowhere, your phone stops lighting up with their name and communication totally stops, even after you try and start a conversation or make plans with them.
You wait a week or so and never hear from them again, leaving you wondering what the heck went wrong.
Getting ghosted can damage your self-esteem and make going on a new date more difficult because you’re afraid it could happen again. But, while getting ghosted does indeed suck, it’s bound to happen to pretty much everyone who goes on a dating journey.
For the most part, the act of ghosting says everything about the person ghosting and not the ghosted.
After you’ve been ghosted, you may have the urge to reach out to get some answers for closure or speak your mind because you feel disrespected by their lack of communication. Unless you’re a literal relationship expert, you may not be entirely sure what to say.
If that’s the case, here are text message ideas to send after getting ghosted.
How To Know You’ve Been Ghosted
Of course, you don’t want to always jump to conclusions. Life happens, including emergency situations, so you don’t want to completely cut someone off if their silence is truly out of left field. That said, if you think you’re getting ghosted, you probably are. Maybe give them a week before sending the final text.
Should You Really Text Them After They Ghosted You?
Whether you should text them after they ghosted you depends on what your true intention of texting them is. Is it to get a response? To get the last word? To be petty? If it is for any of those reasons, you might consider taking a step back before firing off something you might regret texting later on.
That said, there are a few occasions when sending a text after being ghosted might be appropriate. Some of these scenarios may include:
- You want closure
- You want to express your emotions
- You were dating consistently or in a relationship with them
Ultimately, the point of sending a text message after being ghosted is to help you move past it and go on with your dating life. The text message should never be about winning them back or based on the hope that they may want to try again. If they did, they would have already texted you. Besides, even if they did, why would you want to reward bad behavior by taking them back?
It’s important to remember the ghost may continue to ghost and not respond. If you’re truly okay with that, below are 14 texts to send to someone who ghosted you.
Things To Keep In Mind Before You Text After Being Ghosted
Of course, there are still a number of important tips to keep in mind before you message the person who ghosted.
Stay cool, calm, and collected
Your hurt feelings are 100 percent valid. But you want to make sure the message shows that you’re sending the text from a place of self-respect and expression. Focus on being the bigger person. Just because they didn’t treat you with respect doesn’t mean you can’t set a good example.
Skip the guilt-tripping
It won’t do anything but make you feel worse.
Keep it to a single text
No doubling texting if they don’t respond.
Be empowered and self-respecting
You want the power in your hands, not the ghost. Don’t say something like “I guess I just don’t matter anymore…” No. Stop that. Your worth isn’t dictated by their inability to talk about something uncomfortable.
Remember the context
It is also important to keep in mind the context of the relationship you had with the other person. If it was a steady, defined relationship or someone you went on more than one date with, definitely feel empowered to send a text. But if it was someone you maybe only went on a single date with or were casually talking to, it might be best to just leave it alone.
Texts To Send If You Want Closure
- “I am getting the sense I’m getting ghosted. If you want to end things, that is okay. However, if we can have an honest conversation about where your head is at, I would appreciate it. It can be over the phone or in person.”
- “I enjoyed getting to know you the last few weeks, but I realize our time has come to a close. I’d still love to have to talk in person about what happened first if you’re willing to do that. Let me know.”
- “Since you do not feel comfortable sharing your feelings about what our deal is, I will close the door for us. Please do not reach out in three weeks and expect me to respond. I won’t.”
- “I’m bummed that our story had such an anti-climatic ending, but I guess that is now in the past. We’re cool. Best of luck.”
- “I’m not sure if something went wrong or if you simply lost interest, but I’m going to take the fact that I haven’t heard from you as your way of saying you have moved on. Now I will do the same.”
Texts To Send If You Want To Speak Your Mind
- “Hey, it seems like you’ve lost interest and we aren’t on the same page anymore. While that is totally fine, I do wish you had considered my emotions and let me know that this was the case. I deserve that much. That said, I wish you well.”
- “I have to say, I thought we had a great connection so the disappearing act on your end really surprised me. While I am not entirely sure what happened between us, I am going to assume that your lack of contact means that you are no longer interested. I wish you the best.”
- “Getting ghosted sucks and I’m bummed that this is the way you communicate with someone you are no longer interested in. I hope you find what you’re looking for. No hard feelings.”
- “It looks as though our communication styles definitely differ. I think we should agree to see other people.”
Texts To Send If You Were Dating Or In A Relationship
- “Hey, I haven’t heard from you in a while. Just wanted to check in and make sure you were okay. I hope you are.”
- “I wish you had let me know that I was free to date other people since we are apparently over. Good luck out there.”
- “Up to this point, I really thought we were a good match but I need a partner who can communicate.”
- “Based on your silence, I am going to assume that you are no longer interested in us as a couple. I wish you well.”
- I have to admit I am hurt that our relationship wasn’t worth a proper goodbye to you. You didn’t seem like the person who would ghost a partner but I guess sometimes our feelings about people are wrong. I hope you treat the next person you date with more kindness.”
What To Do After Sending The Text
Arguably, the worst part after sending the final text is waiting for them to potentially respond. The best thing you can do the moment after texting them is to put your phone down and distract yourself. Hang out with your friends or watch your favorite show.
If They Don’t Respond…
Even if you send the absolute perfect text, you still may not get an actual response. (Sometimes, no response is a response.) That’s okay, though. Remind yourself that you deserve better than someone who can’t put in the effort to communicate with you.
Don’t feel embarrassed that you reached out. You were honest in a way they couldn’t be and you should be proud.
If They Do Respond…
However, if they do give you a response, evaluate the content of the message. If they still aren’t being fully honest, don’t respond. However, if it seems they are interested in having a conversation about what happened, feel free to send your own response.
In the end, it is totally up to you if you want to send a text to the person who ghosted you. You can run it by your friends, read articles like this, or even consult a dating coach or relationship coach for advice first, but the point is that it really is up to you to decide.
If the thought of sending a message makes you feel wildly uncomfortable or you’re ready to pop off, then it might be best to decide to wait. In the end, you may realize they aren’t worth the effort after all.