We ended things between us so quickly. It seemed like we woke up one morning, and all of a sudden, we defined love differently. We erupted and engaged into plenty of fights, arguments, and misunderstandings…until we both concluded that it was better to separate ways.
We agreed to break our commitments to each other. We agreed to stop loving each other. We agreed to let each other go.
And I watched you leave first. I watched you walk away.
I watched you never look back, while my soul was begging me to scream your name. But I held my tongue until you were completely out of my sight, out of my mind. I willed myself to stand still, even though I was honestly collapsing from the inside out.
I never reached out, so I could prove to you that I could lift the weight of this world on my own. And I could heal on my own. But maybe I was wrong.
Maybe the way we left each other without any explanations is the reason why I still have these residual feelings towards you. Maybe a part of my mind is still wishing that eventually you’d realize that I am the only one that you truly love.
Maybe I’m acting like a fool because I never received the closure that could help me completely detach myself from you.
And maybe I need to hear your reasons as to why you changed your mind about me.
I need to know if there’s anything I did wrong, or if I hurt you in a way that I was unaware of. I need to know if I became too much. I want to understand why my love fell short to you.
I want to understand if the reason why I’m unable to find a new relationship is because I’m still not over you.
I want us to sit down and talk like real adults. I want you to tell me everything that I need to know, everything that you’ve been meaning to say. Tell me the answers to my questions. Because I deserve the truth.
I deserve a closure. I deserve a proper ending. I deserve to move on.
I don’t want to think that I’m not going to love again because of you. I don’t want you to be the reason why I’m scared to open up. I no longer want to spend my days wondering about you. I no longer want to hang on to the possibility of us getting back together.
I deserve to live a life that’s free from you, free from your influence. I deserve to see you one last time so I can bid my final goodbye, so I can hold your hands, and kiss you on the cheek. I deserve to feel the warmth of your hug, the warmth of your touch, and the warmth of your familiar body.
I deserve your words of reassurance that I’m going to be better in someone else’s arms.
So please give me a reason why I should put the past behind me. Give me a good excuse why you’re not the right one for me. Give me all the right words that will make me believe in love again.
Give me back my heart.
And give me the ending that will bring me peace, so I can finally let you go.