I’ve dated my fair share of assholes and the question that keeps coming back to girls like me is… why are we into assholes? I mean dating a nice guy…now that’s too easy. Where would the challenge be? Isn’t messy and complicated much more intriguing than a cookie-cutter happy ending? To be honest, I’m not purposefully looking to date an awful person, it just so happens that the people I end up dating are actually AWFUL PEOPLE. Here is a list of reasons why girls (including myself) are into assholes, and why guys have the unfortunate right to continue to be assholes.
1. You want to be The Girl. The one who can change him.
You have this idea that you have this super magical power to change bad boys into nice guys. I do believe that for every bad boy there is a nice girl who he is willing to change for, but there a slim to none chance that this guy will be the guy you can actually change for the better. Reality being, he is an asshole, always will be an asshole, and nothing you do will change that, but we stay with them anyway because we’re clearly delusional.
2. He’s cute. Who cares.
He has that charming smile that you cant stop looking at. All your friends say you both are SO CUTE AND ADORABLE TOGETHER. As Lauren Conrad stated in Laguna Beach, this boy is like the really gorgeous purse you like to carry around and show off to your friends, its sparkly, expensive, shiny and really pretty. All your friends want this purse and you want all your friends to know this purse is yours, even if it’s actually an asshole.
3. You’re unlike any other girl he’s ever met. You’re different.
Have you ever heard that line before? I have like over 1,000 times. Assholes know how to sweet talk a girl, and we girls love it! He walks up to you and tells you you’re the most special little diamond on this universe and there’s something very special about you… he just can’t put his finger on it. But you’re just like every other special girl who has fallen for that old trick in the book. Assholes know exactly what a girl wants to hear and sadly, we believe every single word.
4. Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.
Looking for a nice guy? You’re not going to find him at a bar or a frat party. You’re not going to find a guy as smooth or charming as an asshole is…because he KNOWS how to play the game. Nice guys aren’t going after women, the hunters are just the bad boys.
5. They have lowered your standards.
So you’re now dating this asshole you found at the bar. He treats you like shit, doesn’t call back, flirts with other girls and tells you that you actually do look fat in those jeans. Seems like the perfect guy right? So after he as completely lowered your self-esteem and has made you feel worthless… ANY NICE THING HE DOES will seem AMAZING in your eyes. He called you back? Oh he just bought you flowers? Finally texted you back with hearts <3 <3 <3 ? These gestures seem like the most amazing things in the world because his inability to be a good boyfriend all the time has made you lower your standards of what you should actually expect. The moments he actually does one nice thing, you feel as if he made such a HUGE effort to do that…and somehow you respect him and love him even more for that. It’s crazy but it works. This is the one reason why asshole boyfriends have the right to continue to be assholes… because we let them.