1. Having a crush on someone.

2. Someone having a crush on me.

3. The ability to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, without adult supervision.

4. Themed birthday parties.

5a. Teenagers.

5b. Actually, anyone younger than me.

5c. Also, people who are older than me. Really anyone who is not the exact same age as me stresses me out.

6. Literally anything to do with drugs of any kind.

7. Disagreeing with my parents.

8. Making destructive decisions because it’s sometimes kinda sorta funny.

9. Not caring, being angry about everything. I met a girl in 2014 who completely turned me off on the whole Angry Sarcastic Girl thing. She was insufferable. And she said “breasts” instead of, like, “boobs” or “tits” all the time and completely unironically—which is unrelated to the angry, sarcastic, and not caring thing, but still important background information on her.

10. People knowing things about me before actually meeting me.

11. People wanting to get to know me better even after meeting me.

12. Anyone with wanderlust. How do you get anything done?

13. Not getting enough sleep. I used to think this was cool because it meant oooohooooooo you’re so busy! I would cut off my left ear if it meant I’d never experience insomnia ever again.

14. Waking up to unread texts.

15. The idea of living alone. Someone recently told me this source of stress is exclusively limited to your early 20s, so I’m a cliché and nothing I say is original, which only adds another layer of stress to this!!!

16. Writing this list (I thought the idea was cool at #4, now stressed out by it at #16).

17. Special Guest Answer From Jacob Geers (because I wanted to end this list on an odd number and also his answer is hilarious): messenger bags.