You Are Allowed To Break Up With A Good Guy

As hard as it is to end a toxic relationship, it's even harder to end a healthy one. You wonder if you're giving up prematurely. If you're doing the wrong thing.

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a good guy
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He texts you good morning before your eyes even open. He notices whenever you get a new haircut. He shows up every time that he says he will and never breaks a promise.

He’s the definition of a good guy. The kind of person that you always dreamed of dating. All of your friends are jealous and your parents are proud you’ve finally picked someone you deserve.

But all of those sweet things he has done for you doesn’t mean that you are obligated to stay with him — just like you aren’t obligated to sleep with him after he buys you a drink or drives you home.

If you want to marry him, then marry him and live happily ever after. But if you only see him as a friend, or as someone who belongs in your past, don’t force yourself to go out with him anyway.

You might feel like a horrible person for leaving him. You might hate yourself for hurting someone who deserves the world. You might get accused of being a selfish bitch with ridiculous standards. But it’s something you have to do.

It’s worse to lead him on by lying about how much you love him. It’s worse to make him think that your feelings are just as strong as his feelings and then wake up one day and break up with him out of the blue. It’s worse to reject him five years later than right now when you already know you two aren’t going to work out.

You are allowed to break up with a good guy, even if it feels wrong. You are allowed to admit that you don’t like him in that way, even if he always says and does all of the right things.

Does it suck? Yes. Is it unfair? Yes. But sometimes, the spark just isn’t there. You can give him a chance, but you shouldn’t force yourself to feel something that doesn’t exist.

When you end things, it is going to hurt. As hard as it is to end a toxic relationship, it’s even harder to end a healthy one. You wonder if you’re giving up prematurely. If you’re doing the wrong thing. But if your heart isn’t beating for him… if you already thought things over and keep coming to the same conclusion… then leaving is something you have to do for both of you.

As great as he is as a person, as great as he is as a boyfriend, it doesn’t mean that he is destined to be your boyfriend. Let him find someone else. Give yourself the chance to find someone else.

You should hold out for someone who treats you just as well at this guy, but is able to make your heart flutter harder, your pulse beat faster. Someone who makes you feel the way that love is supposed to feel.

Even though this good guy might not be right for you, there will be another good guy out there who fits you perfectly. And it won’t be long until you find him. Thought Catalog Logo Mark