1.

“How about I ask you a question—would you rather have a new car or one with 100,000 miles on it? Enough said.”

—Tyler, 28

2.

“My only hangup would be that she would have no idea what she was doing and that it would take her months just to get up to speed. Otherwise, what guy would complain about sleeping with a virgin?”

—Todd, 24

3.

“It’s not guys who shame girls for being virgins—it’s other girls. Actually, I should qualify that—it’s a specific kind of girl. You know—the ‘empowered’ type who thinks a woman is squashed under the patriarchy’s thumb if she isn’t a cum-guzzling sex maniac who’s into rampant infidelity, all-girl orgies with female volleyball teams, anti-male cruelty, and drinking male tears. If a girl told me that she was a virgin but wanted to have sex with me, I’d be all like, ‘Oh—OK. Well, I’m honored that you waited all this time for the right guy.’”

—Blake, 33

4.

“This is going to make me sound like, I don’t know, a horny asshole dudebro lion in the jungle or something, but I think it would be extremely sexy that I’d be the first to, you know, ‘go there’ with her. I’d feel like I’d captured my prey—and not in a rapey way, but I’d get this purely animal feeling that I’d kind of ‘marked’ her with my scent, you know? Really, there’s no way to describe this without sounding like a douchebag, but I guess the animal kingdom pre-programs men to be like douchebags. It’s in our DNA. Scientists have yet to discover the Douche Gene, but it’s there.”

—Name withheld, so let’s call him “Douche Gene,” 28

5.

“I’ve had a lot of girlfriends, and at one point or another every one of them has said something along the lines of, ‘I wish I had been your first and that you’d never slept with any of those other girls. I wish I could roll back time and we could both have been virgins.’ So I guess if I were to have sex with a virgin, I might finally understand what all those girls were talking about. So, um, what’s her phone number?”

—Brent, 20

6.

From a male-ego perspective, it’d be great! There would be no other guys she could compare me to—no fretting about someone being more handsome, having a bigger dick, being a better lover—it’d just be me. Of course, she’d dump me the next week for some other dude, and then all I’d do is worry if he’s more handsome, has a bigger dick, and is a better lover than me.”

—Cody, 32

6.

“Look, I don’t even understand the whole phony outrage about ‘slut-shaming.’ Maybe some guys do it, but I don’t, and neither do any of my guy friends. If anything, it’s women who slut-shame other women, and usually because the accused ‘slut’ is with a man that the slut-shamer wants. When we hear that a girl likes to have a lot of sex, all we say is, ‘Cool!’ So if a virgin presented her cherry to me, all I’d say is, ‘Cool!’”

—Jake, 22

7.

“There’s a reason that the Holy Quran promises 72 virgins in Paradise for men. It’s because we’d prefer to be with virgins.”

—Eddie, 27

8.

“I’ll be honest—at first I’d think there must be something severely wrong with her. If not physically, then there must have been something wrong mentally. Especially if she’s really good-looking. Something’s not working right if a hot 30-year-old chick still has a hymen.”

—Kyle, 27

9.

“Meh, the problem with the first time would just probably be that she’d be a little clumsy, awkward, self-conscious, and embarrassed. Then she’d cry afterwards. Then I’d try reassuring her, but she’d just roll over with her back to me. Then we’d work it out to where I’d have a tough time keeping up with her in the bedroom.”

—Erik, 25

10.

“The only type of guy who’d have problems with banging a virgin is the type of guy who’d have problems with taking the first bite of a sandwich. I have no such problems. I want the sandwich all to myself. I’m the same way at Christmas—I prefer that my gifts don’t come already unwrapped.”

—Jorge, 30