6 Things Every Introvert Has To Secretly Deal With

Our version of friendly is not wrong, just different.

Updated 8 years ago, August 16, 2016

There’s nothing wrong being an introvert, but society seems to embrace extroversion more so than the traits that we exhibit. I assume it’s because we’re quiet and tend to shut up shop when other people are trying to interact and be friendly — even if our version of friendly is not wrong, just different. This leads to many assumptions that introverts have to deal with.

1. People think you’re rude.

I don’t understand why people assume introverts are rude. We’re listening — just because we sometimes happen to not respond to you is not indicative of the fact that we’re not processing. It’s society’s expectation that you should always respond. We won’t step on your toes in a conversation. We won’t interrupt, and isn’t that social etiquette? But small talk is cheap — and I stand by that statement! Our furrowed brows mean we’re absorbing your words, not that we’re frustrated.

2. You’re always asked if you’re depressed.

We like being alone — there are a lot of times we feel overwhelmed and we need some alone time to “reset” ourselves. Our reservation and lack of social contact stems from a divide of which we’re always conscious — that we’re painfully aware of talking about nothing, especially if we don’t have much in common. This self-awareness shouldn’t be looked down at, especially since it results in having true friends, and not multiple casual acquaintances that sap you of your energy.

3. You feel inadequate.

Sometimes, in a group of people talking at one another, we, the introverts, stay quiet, listening, and wondering why we have nothing to add to the conversation. We oftentimes feel a bit lonely and wonder why that’s so, but we aren’t inadequate. We’re fine just the way we are. This sense of inadequacy is in our heads. Let’s not play mind games with ourselves. We are, in fact, great lovers and fantastic friends. Just because we can’t seem to find solace in the fact that we need alone time to achieve some semblance of calm doesn’t make us weird — or lacking. No way. Finding comfort is far better than faking your way to pleasing people you hardly know.

4. People think you’re flakey.

One day we feel like hanging out with a lot of people, and other times, we feel like staying home. Going outside to meet friends seem like a monstrous task. We text — because calling makes us nervous — and even that is a laborious task. But we’re not flaking out! It’s not that we don’t like you — we need time to compose ourselves, and that means staying in every once in a while.

5. People assume you’re no fun.

Introverts are totally fun — once you really get to know us. We’re intelligent, we’re truly interested in what you have to say (when we find common ground), and we’ll totally surprise you with how much you can depend on us for entertainment. Trivia? Yes, we’re good at it. Staying home doesn’t mean we’re hiding under the covers, you know. Drinking? We’re good at that, too. Dancing? Yeah, some of us are great dancers. Find us when we’re recharged and ready for social life — we’ll bring the party to you.

6. Crowds cause anxiety.

If you haven’t realized already, solitude is sweet, sweet freedom for introverts. The sense of peacefulness it brings is the complete opposite of crowds. Crowds make us nervous. It makes us weary and it is very draining — physically and mentally. Our energy comes from being alone, and that is just who we are. And really, there’s something to be said for having one-on-one interaction. It’s more in depth, it’s personal, and avoiding crowds sometimes ensures that you’ll make a connection rather than leaving that up to chance.