Even Though Our Journey Ended, Here Is Why I Choose To Be Thankful

moving on and healing and letting go
Jacalyn Beales

Joyce Meyer said it best. She said, “I believe God’s plan is the same as being on a bus. Upon each stop, someone has to get off in order for you to reach your a new destination.”

Well, this stop, he chose you.

I fought very hard to push you away at the beginning of us. I didn’t want to be with anyone, but you perceived yourself to be this devoted, responsive, and affectionate person.

It didn’t matter how hard I pushed you away, because you did everything to get me to fall for you. You doubled texted, sometimes triple. You took me on dates, you wanted to be the one to tear down my walls, you called me late at night to say goodnight, you texted me as soon as you got up in the morning, you held my hand, you put me on a pedestal, and always held me a little tighter before I left.

You were the good guy, the guy that I desperately begged God to bring me. Everyone around me told me to not pass you up, so I didn’t. I finally became vulnerable and allowed you to love me.

It was an explosion of emotions at first, but those fiery emotions didn’t last very long. We became what we so badly tried to shove into a small box under the bed, two totally different people.

I sincerely thought you would be the person I ended up with, but my instincts thought otherwise. I battled so much with those voices in my head that I honestly just couldn’t do it anymore.

You became the complete opposite person that you professed yourself to be. I feel as though I spent more time trying to get you to notice me, than I did actually being happy. I just couldn’t keep trying to convince myself that this was just a phase, that you were just too stressed, or too busy, because if we were meant to be then you wouldn’t have allowed the uneasy feelings to set in.

Maybe I was too trusting or too lost in your eyes to realize that you were actually tricking me into falling for you, but either way, I want you to know that I’m not angry.

I don’t believe that this was about wrong timing, or meeting on another planet, or in another world, or even 10 years from now. This comes down to the fact that you were never supposed to be my forever person, and I was never supposed to be yours.

You were just a lesson, something temporary. Someone to show me that I can open my heart up and fully love someone. To show me that letting go doesn’t always mean a traumatic ending, but instead a magical journey to a new destination.

In all honesty, you healed me. You picked up the pieces of my heart and gently put them back together, again. You taught me to never stop trusting and you taught how to see the beauty in every aspect in life.

Thank you for proving to me that there are actually good guys in this world, and that I am worthy enough to be with one.

Thank you for mistreating me at the end, because it reminded me that I deserve more.

Thank you for bringing God back into my life.

Thank you for bringing out the very best in me, and for letting me keep that when we left each other.

Thank you for loving me even when I felt like the most unlovable person.

Thank you for finding my concealed strength; because now I know I will be able to stand strong in solitude.

Even though our journey together ended, I will always choose to be joyous. I will choose that, because I fully believe that even though we were on two different paths, living in two different worlds, and chasing two different dreams, that we will both end up exactly where we belong.

That even though we won’t have each other, we will both have another. We will both find our people and create beautiful lives.

I know one day we will look back on our time together and understand why God told us to end.

Wherever I end up in this world, I will always remember the goodness you brought to me for sometime. TC mark

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