Are you a high-achiever and expect people who surround you show the highest results? You can be a demanding parent, a strict project manager or a girl-perfectionist who aims to help her partner get a promotion. Any person can set high expectations to people around oneself and it doesn’t depend on your job or social class. It’s all about your character. I knew a good bartender who could impress crowds of people with juggling bottles but whoever he tried to teach went with nothing from him. One of his alumni confessed to me that it wasn’t his demanding behavior but the way he disapproved the slightest mistake.
Here’s the thing about high expectations – they can have both positive and negative effects. And if you can’t fight those improving tips that almost juts out of you, you should evaluate all pros and cons first and then choose the best way to impose your expectations.
Pros of Expecting Too Much
- Setting higher goals you lead others to higher achievements
A person doesn’t actually know own potential until one tests it. When I was a child and began whining that something’s too hard for me, my mom used to repeat this phrase “You should always try to reach the top and if you get a bit lower it would be still better than doing nothing.” I still use this approach to make my To-do lists. I always add 2-3 activities that I might not achieve but it always puts a sort of question “What if you do?”.
- You help people develop their skills and hidden abilities
To achieve this, a person should always balance between own expectations and the reality. So, if you are a mother, for instance, and you feel that your child has enough talent to play the violin as a pro, you can’t just overstrain a child with these expectations. If you want to discover hidden abilities of your kid, you should allow him to make mistakes, have friends, and enjoy the pleasure of being a child.
Again it doesn’t matter who you are. Even a team lead of the project can’t strangle employees with high challenges and expect perfection in all tasks. People, who surround you and agree to achieve your expectations, should feel their freedom, your support, and understanding.
- You motivate other people and boost their productivity
A person who expects too much must be an example to people who surround him. It’s not necessarily to encourage others with the words “Go! Go! I believe you can do it!”. You can just demonstrate your own example how you manage the challenges and difficulties. And what motivates better to achieve something than someone’s success? I do regard motivation as a fragile thing and to keep it high you have to adapt to the mood of other people and find the right words to inspire. Yet the most positive effect of high expectations is that it can boost people’s productivity. For instance, I had problems with patience and assiduity. I got tired too fast until my mom insisted on keeping focused on short-time tasks. She didn’t scream out “Make yourself study at last” but spent the whole time with me.
- You help someone improve self-esteem and get rid of inferiority complex
When I talk about the right approach to imposing your high expectations on others, I do mean it. It’s just essential to find the golden middle and try hard not be too intrusive or putting too much pressure at a time. If you balance right, you can considerably improve the person’s self-esteem and help him or her get rid of inferiority complex. Because when a person feels confidence in one’s strength and knows how to achieve all set goals, it helps to leave the fears or doubts aside. It lets you concentrate not on losses but achieved results.
Cons of Expecting Too Much
- You can cause stress, disappointment and even psychological problems
In a recent JSR survey of Asian students, 72% of students got through huge stress because of their parents’ high expectations. Therefore, if you keep constant pressure on your children or employees, you can lead to severe depression and even development of mental illnesses. According to the latest research, 75% of the U.S. teenagers suffer from the impulse control, anxiety and hyperactivity disorders.
Too high expectations require more responsibility and thus when a person lacks necessary skills or preparation, one can’t swallow a piece you expect to. It discourages and can even aggravate inferiority complex, especially if we talk about a teenager.
- You may irritate, humiliate a partner and ruin your relationship
When a person doesn’t feel enough potential in oneself to meet your expectations, he or she might become irritable and even reserved. In relationships, this kind of behavior is the sign that you should change your attitude and stop pushing your partner to meet another challenge. Even if it’s the right time and conditions to accept a new job offer, your partner could be not ready to meet such a challenge. And if you continue pushing your beloved, you’ll be the one who has ruined this relationship because you didn’t compromise, made your partner humiliated and exhausted with too high expectations.
- You can cause secretiveness, deceiving behavior, ignorance, and aggressiveness.
This isn’t a full list of changes that can happen with a person who can’t handle the pressure of your expectations and disapproval. You will be accused of all problems, ignored, and soon become estranged with each other. The most painful outcome could be if one day you face the harsh reality of deception or betrayal. It will hurt a lot because you’ll realize that a part of the fault is yours.
- You can decrease the person’s motivation and enthusiasm
Motivation and enthusiasm do not tolerate overstrain and cumbersome supervision. And naturally when you strike the target of your expectations with disapproving looks, soon you’ll notice how the person loses craving to proceed with any activities.