250 People Reveal The Lesson They Learned After A Failed Relationship

We asked, and you guys answered! Below are the best responses.

106.
“When someone decides they don’t love you, there’s nothing you can do to change their mind. And it has nothing to do with you.”

107.
“Give your very best so you won’t have any regrets at the end, but never ever forget to love yourself. If you know how to value and love yourself, you then know how to love others.”

108.
“You can never love someone without loving yourself first. Self love will make you realize your worth and be worthy of someone.”

109.
“Waiting around for a man to change is the biggest mistake I have ever made. A leopard’s spots never change. It took me years to realize this.”

110.
“Sometimes people just come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Just gotta learn to decipher between them.”

111.
“If he says he doesn’t want to get married and have kids…you should probably take his word for it. Hold out for the man that does want those things.”

112.
“He told me that ‘you can’t love anyone if you don’t know how to loved yourself’ and maybe that’s the reason he had to leave.”

113.
“Not to overdo things when the friendship is still fresh. Keep your feelings to yourself and not complicate things. Now, a friendship is lost. No relationship at all.”

114.
“That even you’ve given everything to that person, if you’re not the person whom he or she wants, you will never be enough. No if’s, no but’s.”

115.
“That relationships are designed to fail 90% of the time and people should be whole within themselves before trying to find someone else to fill the void.”

116.
“Relationships are not doomed to fail. It is a two-person friendship. Both people have to be prepared to sacrifice things to make it work. And both need to support each other through tough times. Relationships are not for everyone, but they are not designed to fail. They are what the two people in them make it.”

117.
“It’s not long how you’ve known each other, but how much commitment you have to sustain. Do not ignore the ‘signs.’ Do not ‘focus’ on the goodness they’ve shown; it’s easy to pretend.”

118.
“That there are people out there who love you so dearly but simply do not know how to express themselves or show their love to you.”

119.
“How long you’ve been with somebody doesn’t solidify the relationship, it’s the quality of the relationship that does that…”

120.
“Despite the pain and headache of a failed relationship, know that you can love unconditionally without any expectations.”

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Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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