250 People Reveal The Lesson They Learned After A Failed Relationship

We asked, and you guys answered! Below are the best responses.

91.
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Actions will ALWAYS speak louder than words eventually. There will come a time where words won’t mean much.”

92.
“Find someone with the same life goals as you. You cannot spend your life waiting for your partner to be ready when they clearly don’t want the same thing, whatever that may be.”

93.
“People are who they are. You can’t change them. Even if they wish to change (and do), any trauma in the relationship can bring them back right to the beginning and the actions that they revert to.”

94.
“Learn to love yourself first, because time changes us all. People age, grow up, grow apart, and suddenly all you are left with is YOU.”

95.
“1. You cannot love someone so much to make them love you back.
2. Some things end because it’s meant to end.
3. You have to put yourself first.
4. Don’t fight a losing battle.”

96.
“Never expect someone to love you that way you love them. And if someone truly loves you, he would never make reason to hurt you.”

97.
“Never stick around with someone who is willing to treat you so shitty and not feel bad about it. If they’re treating you like shit, they don’t love you or care for you.”

98.
“Understand and practice the person’s love language. It is important to continue to date your spouse and surprise them.”

99.
“I learned that it’s perfectly OK to love someone but not be with them, which freed me from the immature notion that I HAVE to be with the person I love. And I learned that I will love a lot of people, so losing one just makes way for the next one.”

100.
“Nothing lasts forever, no attachments in life with things or other people. Best way is stay in love with yourself no matter what and let the universe lead you.”

101.
“Never give more than they are willing to offer….never wait for the other person to change and leave when it serves you best…Don’t feel bad about it…”

102.
“Don’t settle for unhappiness. Don’t make excuses for someone else’s terrible behavior. Know your own worth and don’t settle for someone who only cares for themselves.”

103.
“‘What’s the quickest way to die every day? Love someone who doesn’t love you in return.’ That’s what I have learned…that kind of pain every day never ends.”

104.
“Break your own heart first. If you come to the realization that they way you’re being treated isn’t right, end it and stick to your guns no matter what.”

105.
“Don’t force it for convenience’s sake. Learn to say goodbye-you’re not only freeing yourself and the other person from a lifetime of unhappiness.”

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Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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