250 People Reveal The Lesson They Learned After A Failed Relationship

We asked, and you guys answered! Below are the best responses.

76.
“To be careful not to be too selfless, because they will use you. They know what’s your weakness.

To really LISTEN to UNDERSTAND.

That even the ugliest guy cheats and doesn’t appreciate.”

77.
“That lashing out and being guarded isn’t the solution to hurt feelings. But if they don’t listen to you when you do verbalize your vulnerabilities, throw their shit in a dumpster and break up with them.”

78.
“Begging someone to stay is the biggest mistake you will ever make. And you’ll regret it for life. Recognize your anxiety on time and control it. Also let go of your past the moment it’s over. Believe me, it has the ability to fuck your present and future together the longer you hold it. And above all, self-love is the answer to everything.”

79.
“It doesn’t matter how much you love him/her. Toxic is toxic and someone better will come along; just be patient, never stop praying. You’ll be able to move on and it will be so much more.”

80.
“You can’t make anyone love you no matter what you have money, clothes, etc., if they really love you then they don’t really care about what you have…and if they show ‘love’ when you have a lot but show no love when you have nothing. then that was NEVER love.”

81.
“Learning to trust God and asking for His guidance and patience. God knows and has the power to change any bad person to good and build love into anyone’s heart for you at any time. Thus, trusting God’s plans is the lesson I have learned . I know for a fact that if one relationship fails, there is another relationship to be experienced.”

82.
“Never ever lose yourself in the midst of loving someone else. Because when they decide to leave, you’re left with nothing and you’ll have to go through all the hard process alone, searching for your lost self.”

83.
“Always always one’s instincts never lie…if you feel something isn’t right in a relationship…then definitely it isn’t right…Don’t brush it off…Don’t give excuses.”

84.
“Never expect another person to change their ways. Don’t ignore the red flags; get out immediately. Never trust someone who cheats on you, and never trust or get involved with a drug addict or alcoholic.”

85.
“Definitely don’t ignore your gut. If you feel like something is wrong, it probably is.”

86.
“Don’t forgive a cheater. They were fine doing it once, they will be fine doing it again and you don’t deserve that.”

87.
“The flip side of ‘you can’t change someone’ is ‘don’t become something you’re not for somebody else.’ You’re better off holding out for someone who accepts you as-is that you also accept as-is.”

88.
“That the advice I heard as a child ‘you have to be nice to everybody or they won’t like you,’ was terrible advice.”

89.
“What is meant for you will be yours; learn to let go…there’s a difference between somebody who wants you and somebody who would do anything to keep you.”

90.
“We all have our own imperfections. I’m not perfect…my partner isn’t, either…but you shouldn’t find perfection in another person.”

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Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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