250 People Reveal The Lesson They Learned After A Failed Relationship

We asked, and you guys answered! Below are the best responses.

136.
“Suicide is just that. Someone chose to end his/her life. That is not your fault. YOU did not choose it!”

137.
“To engage in a relationship only when you are really in love, and not because you feel needy of love.”

138.
“I’ve learned that my worth isn’t dependent on anyone’s view. I’ve accepted that things don’t always go the way we wanted. That forgiving yourself is harder than the person who hurt you. I’ve learned that being free is better than loneliness in a relationship. That you shouldn’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. That validation from the other person isn’t needed. I am worth it. I don’t deserve being cheated on, being just someone’s fling. I’ve learned that letting go is sometimes the best that you do for yourself. That you would eventually move on and forgive that person. And it doesn’t mean that they’ll be cheaters all their lives. That good people do mistakes. And you’ll be happy for them. That pain brings maturity if you only focus on the lessons. That people come and go. Everything changes. And you can’t just take someone with you all the way if they chose not to. That love isn’t worth compromising self-respect. That love doesn’t feel like a competition.”

139.
“Don’t beg for a spot in his life. If he really wanted you, you’d know it.”

140.
“If a man truly loves you he will do anything to keep you.”

141.
“Don’t expect too much.”

142.
“Once you start thinking if what you’re feeling is just a phase, it’s not. Get yourself out.”

143.
“Pay attention to what someone says v. what they do.

Don’t let anyone make you question your worth and it’s OK to be selfish sometimes.”

144.
“Never leave anything at their house that you would not want to lose. It is not worth the trouble to try to get it back.”

145.
“If the effort isn’t matched, leave.”

146.
“Feeling sad won’t last and at some point, you won’t even think about this guy anymore.”

147.
“Some people aren’t looking for love. They’re looking for help.”

148.
“Time heals almost everything. The pain does go away.”

149.
“If he is not ready, you can never change that. If he really wants you and really wants to be with you, he will never let you go.”

150.
“Don’t trust anyone. Anyone can look you straight in the eye, tell you they love you but never mean it.”

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Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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