Aries: March 21st – April 19th

Your adventurous and impulsive nature will cause you to trespass. You saw something that was super cool and just had to go see it. It wasn’t even for the ‘gram.

Taurus: April 20th – May 20th

Someone betrayed you, so you got your revenge. The details weren’t released to the public, but it probably had to do with boiling a family pet – something straight out of a movie.

Gemini: May 21st – June 20th

Honestly, you’ve committed a lot of felonies and never been caught. It’s almost impressive.

Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd

Stalking. Except it isn’t really stalking, you were just looking out for the person you love. You’re protective – where’s the harm in that?

Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd

Stealing money from the company you work for. You’ve proven your worth, so obviously you deserve the money. Who cares if it affects other people? They don’t work as hard as you.

Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd

You faked your own death in order to avoid misdemeanor charges. However, they eventually caught you, and you were charged with passport fraud, among other various charges required to fake your own death.

Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd

Libras don’t commit crimes on their own, they help others because they’re good friends. Accessory to murder is most likely what you got caught for.

Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st

You were upset with “the system,” so you decided to be your artsy, brooding self and channel Banksy. Except you got caught vandalizing, and apparently self-expression on federal properties is a felony.

Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st

Someone was really killing your vibe, so you went off on them and maybe threw a few threats out. Except it was an undercover cop. You were super drunk, but they weren’t having any of it. That’s what happens when you’re honest yet irresponsible.

Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th

You hold grudges extremely well, so you offered to help your Taurus friend getrevenge on the same person you hate. Safety in numbers?

Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th

You got caught buying a lot of drugs. Not even hard drugs. You just wanted something to chill out with, but the police didn’t see it that way.

Pisces: February 19th – March 20th

Nobody expected it from you, but you murdered somebody. Libra helped you hide the body. Police still haven’t located you, but when they do, you’ll claim self-defense and be selfless and leave Libra out of it.