Ted Pillow

You can’t turn your mind off from a never-ending stream of anxious thoughts.

“A dystopian love story in a Texas wasteland and set in a community of cannibals.” WAIT WHAT YES.

You know what they say: Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets.

Have you ever wondered why, exactly, Glen Bishop existed in the Mad Men universe? What was the point of this marginal character who somehow kept turning up again and again? Well, he’s played by Marten Weiner, the son of showrunner Matthew Weiner. So, there you go.

The average penis size is only 5 inches. Aha! Did you hear that, Karen!?! 5 inches!!

10 Words or Fewer Summary: Chilling documentary explores family’s unimaginable secrets

Most guys tend to lose themselves in the moment, so it can’t hurt to try and plan out what you’re going to say at your climax, rather than just blurting out the first thing that comes to mind (i.e., “9/11 was an inside job!” or just “UGHHHNNGGN!”)

“That’s so raven.”

A patently ludicrous cult thriller about Devil worship and human sacrifice in which Martin Sheen screams a lot, The Believers occupies a strange space between camp and grim mean-spiritedness (the opening scene seems specifically designed to have traumatically scarred me as a child, which is exactly what it did).

Girls go crazy for complex, intricately sculpted facial hair.

There’s no set rule on how long a kiss should last. A good rule of thumb is to stop once you’ve had an orgasm. Then you pretty much just crawl up into the fetal position until they leave.

Once you get the phone number, it’s time to start sexting.

10 Words or Fewer Summary: Computer chess nerds congregate in hotel, insanity ensues.

Sometimes I’m just doing the best I can.

So bad it’s good? Nope – these 80s cult classics may be trashy, dated, bizarre, disturbing, juvenile, and violent, but they’re also some of the most enjoyable films ever made.

After spending the past several days ignoring the demands of my daily life, I present to you some of the strangest things I found.

An unheralded film about champion 80s arcade gamers that I serendipitously found on Hulu turned out to be one of my favorite documentaries of the decade.

I should not use Wikipedia while drinking.