Ted Pillow

A patently ludicrous cult thriller about Devil worship and human sacrifice in which Martin Sheen screams a lot, The Believers occupies a strange space between camp and grim mean-spiritedness (the opening scene seems specifically designed to have traumatically scarred me as a child, which is exactly what it did).

Girls go crazy for complex, intricately sculpted facial hair.

There’s no set rule on how long a kiss should last. A good rule of thumb is to stop once you’ve had an orgasm. Then you pretty much just crawl up into the fetal position until they leave.

Once you get the phone number, it’s time to start sexting.

10 Words or Fewer Summary: Computer chess nerds congregate in hotel, insanity ensues.

Sometimes I’m just doing the best I can.

So bad it’s good? Nope – these 80s cult classics may be trashy, dated, bizarre, disturbing, juvenile, and violent, but they’re also some of the most enjoyable films ever made.

After spending the past several days ignoring the demands of my daily life, I present to you some of the strangest things I found.