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From our shared wall, I hear glass shatter and a tear runs down my face. I have been in your situation.

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Even now, more than a decade later, I find the ghost of you lingering at unexpected turns. I have loved and I have opened myself to being known, and still I feel the panic rise when a man towers over me, when a man whispers in my ear, when a man lingers for too long behind me.

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Trauma is not drama. Trauma is pain. And pain is exactly what we, as humans, strive to feel least and give just the same. 

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Many people are aware that they’re in toxic relationships but they still don’t have the courage or the confidence to leave so they choose to forgive or stick around in hopes that it may all change one day. 

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You feel anxious in the morning, unsure of what you should do or how you should spend your time, especially if you work remotely or aren’t working that day.

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I wish I had a cathartic ending to this war, something to write in the history books. But I am learning. We all are learning.

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We don’t have to wear the scars of our parents or our friends or our teachers. We can manifest any life we want, assuming we learn to recognize what scars actually belong to us.

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Wanda is not merely a compilation of her trauma, nor defined by it. She is the strength that arises from living with it.