Thought Catalog

You Are The Sun

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Let’s play the Universe game.

I’ll be a star cloud because that’s what your presence reduces me to. A mass of luminosity and in those moments, I’m impossible to measure mathematically. Not with the naked eye, anyway. It’s simpler than that: you say my name and I’ll glow.

You can be the North Star, burning bright and hot. You’re Polaris because you stand out, because you’re a fixture in my sky. Because when I’m lost, I can find you and be okay. You’re my point of reference.

Speaking of Polaris, we can be the Big Dipper and Little Dipper, the Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, the Big Bear and Little Bear – whichever name you prefer as long as we’re partnered together in perpetuity. Our bond will know no lingual or cultural or geographic limits. No matter where two people stand on this Earth, they’ll look up and see us and know that we belong together.

We can be whichever constellations you like, at least in the beginning. In the beginning we’ll be all starburst and Andromeda and other striking sights that’ll inspire envy; but it won’t stay that way.

This is when the game loses its sheen.

Maybe we’ll stop communicating. I’ll grow distant; I’ll grow colder like Mars. And you’ll grow angrier, volatile like Jupiter. A mess of rock and metal and discarded things will separate us, an Asteroid Belt of our grievances. But I’ll overlook it; I’ll still sit by your side and will your storms to quit brewing. Anything to make them stop brewing.

Or maybe you’ll grow distant first. Perhaps you’ll become the Sun and I, the Earth — turning in on myself to revolve around you because you are the light and what keeps me warm. Me rotating around you. Your selfishness so belittling that one day, I’ll become too small to be the Earth. So you’ll take my place, and I’ll become your moon. This is a better fit because some days I’ll appear to be whole but others? I’ll look like I’m half, or a quarter, or just a tiny sliver of who I was. On rare occasions, we’ll still align. I will pass through your shadow and bask in your sunlight; my face awash in gold and red and I’ll remember the way things were. But lunar eclipses, they’re few and far between and they’re not enough to save us.

Perhaps one moon won’t be enough for you, eventually. Eventually you’ll want what the others have, you’ll want eight moons or sixteen moons or more, so you’ll become Saturn. You’ll have more rings, more moons than you’ll know what to do with. And I will have no choice but to take the hint. I’ll be Pluto: downgraded and disregarded and cast aside. “You’re not even a planet anymore,” you’ll say, and I’ll know we’ll never be the same again. I’ll feel really, really small.

Finally it’ll become too much, the heartache. So I’ll be a supernova, one who was once a star but is now explosive, exploding, exploded. And it will be spectacular, you’ll be impressed by the amount of light I had inside of me. You had no idea just how much.

But it’s of no consequence. Because you are all of the planets, and all of the moons, and all of the matter; you’re all that matters. You are the sun; and you’ll just keep spinning and spinning and spinning. TC mark

image – NASA

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    • Anonymous

      wow. that was awesome. high five. 

    • neha

      fuck yes.

    • http://twitter.com/dangergirlOOO Jerri

      That was amazing. I was completely into the whole thing visually, emotionally… whew

    • Sunny

      Holy. Shit. One of the best TC posts in months. Love everything about it. 

    • Sophia

      This is mindblowingly awesome. That part about becoming the Earth, and the moons, and … damn. I felt this extended metaphor viscerally.

    • Anonymous

      You be the TC writer, I’ll be the sobbing woman in a cubicle. 

    • berna fett

      I bet she was high when she wrote this.

    • Anonymous

      I am deeply impressed, congrats for writing such a good article :)

    • Ringo

      THIS IS AWESOME.

    • http://jenniferlioy.wordpress.com Jennifer

      Everything about this is beautifully and eloquently written. 

    • VA

      The supernova part.  Incredible.

    • http://www.facebook.com/grc15r Gregory Costa

      Stars live in the evening.  But the very young need the sun…

    • http://twitter.com/macabrecadabra terryl quixote

      Oh. My. God.

      Fucking SLAYED IT.

      Perfect headline too.  Good Lord.

    • anticollision

      this was amazing.  every line was quotable. seriously. and it was all so pretty.
      “Because you are all of the planets, and all of the moons, and all of the matter; you’re all that matters. You are the sun; and you’ll just keep spinning and spinning and spinning.”

    • BPIERCE

      Shit. Amazing.

    • http://teachyourselfitsbeautiful.com Mark C

      Stephanie is hyperinternetcrushworthy.

    • AFan

      This piece is so beautiful. It is absolute inspiration and motivation for me to one day write something that can foster the same kind of emotion in someone else as this piece fostered in me.

    • Marie

      This is by far the most amazing piece you’ve written. It’s so compelling and all the metaphors just fit perfectly. It’s one of those things that you should read in lit class.

    • Joanna

      Wow. That was seriously incredibly. Props, Steph.

    • c-dizz

      I thought I might’ve had my first blogger-crush. It is now solidified, like the Earth’s crust. 

    • http://twitter.com/JustGeeee Geleen Faye Gallego

      Steph, you are my favorite! :)

    • N.

      My heart nodded furiously. :)

    • Valerie

      That was absolutely wonderful! Please keep them coming. : D

    • Tea Cookies

      I always come to TC just to look for your posts Steph! Your writing is unique and always appreciated. Definitely stands out on this site and all blogs in general. Well done.

    • Anonymous

      Girl. I am not kidding. Marry me.

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