Thought Catalog

Things To Remember When You’re Single

  • 0

Remember to take advantage. Accept invitations, talk to strangers, go to sleep at 7 p.m. if that’s what makes you happy. Do everything you have time to do and when you’ve finished, do it all over again.

Believe in yourself. Don’t feel like you’re not good enough to be loved. Self-pity is a good way to stay single. Self-respect is a good way to stay grounded. Remember that people who are in relationships were once single.

Remember that people in relationships have problems, too. Don’t feel jealous or wish them ill or think they have it easier than you do. Sometimes a coupled person, miles away from where you rest your head, will cry himself to sleep because of the loneliness that can exist in a relationship. Remember that.

Treat your dates kindly. Remember that they are people who want to believe in something as much as you do. They might not be right for you, but that doesn’t render them worthless. Respect them: you’re fighting the same fight. Don’t make dating more terrifying and lonely than it already is. If it doesn’t work out, wish them well and mean it.

Remember that sex will not trick someone into falling in love with you. Do not use it as a tool. Do not use it as a weapon. Do not use it as a means to an end. Have it and enjoy it, but do not abuse it or mistake it for love.

Don’t dwell on the things you can’t change about yourself: your height or your age or your past. Change the way you think about the those things and be done with them. Remember that everyone struggles with the hand they’ve been dealt; in that way you are very much not alone.

Don’t blame everyone for the actions of one person. Give people a fair chance. You shouldn’t have to pay for someone else’s mistakes, and neither should anyone else. We’re all burdened with collateral damage, but blaming other people won’t help repair it. Relearning to trust people will.

Remember to use a condom.

Remember to have fun. Spend time with your family and friends. Read more. Create something you’re proud of. Make your own rules and then break them. Swap spit. Take trips alone. Love yourself. Be selfish without being malevolent. Flirt. Treat yourself to an expensive dinner because you deserve it, you deserve it all. TC mark

image – Dottie Mae
Powered by Revcontent

Poetry Lovers! 💖

Love a soft person. The ones who are positive, even in the worst of circumstances. Someone whose strength is not in bravado, but in their quiet. Someone who is strong for others because that is what is needed in that moment. Someone who is the moon that soothes instead of the sun that burns. Someone who sees the very best in people even when you think they aren’t worth it. The kind of person who always wants to do the best for those they love.

“I bought this on a whim to read as I was resting for the night, and I do not regret it one bit! Everything about the poetry in this book is amazing, heart breaking, and soul searching. It will lift your spirits on your darkest days. I want to thank the author so much for writing this, as it’s something I will be rereading a lot! Always remember, everything about you is important. You matter.” —McKayla

Click to heal your heart

More From Thought Catalog

Things To Remember When You’re Single is cataloged in , , ,
  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    Cherish your autonomy. 

  • http://kalliope.simbel.lv Signe

    I like being single. This almost made me wish I was single for a little while.

  • loveandcarciofi

    This is perfect.

  • http://itellstories.org Sameer Vasta

    A good reminder; needed that today.

  • AllTheSingleLadies

    Can I just cry here for a second? 

    I love my single life.

  • http://www.oneyearintexas.com Perfect Circles

    this is one of the most beautiful pieces I’ve read on Thought Catalog in the recent past.

    I would be single with STEPHANIE GEORGOPULOS for the rest of my life.

  • http://teresaelectro.blogspot.com/ teresaelectro

    I treat my dates kindly. The problems start when they don’t treat ME kindly.

  • http://twitter.com/tbarrios47 Tanya Barrios

    Love this so much. recently had a bad breakup so thank you for the free therapy! haha

  • Mae Woods

    Amazing. 

  • FangsFoo

    Things to remember when you’re single and not an introspective female.

    1. Masturbate
    2. ???
    3. Masturbate

    • tha dish

      Phase 1: Collect Underpants. Phase 2: ??? Phase 3: Profit.

    • tha dish

      Phase 1: Collect Underpants. Phase 2: ??? Phase 3: Profit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=707272007 Alex Thayer

    i consider myself le flirt supérieur

  • Nico

    Single for the first time in my life (aside from short 1-3 month stints) and I love it. I can stay in and read all day, or go try to dig up random adventures with friends, go out and meet strangers and expect nothing more beyond it. I can paint, make jewelry, sit on the patio by a fire and chain smoke without complaints from others, should I so choose. I do get lonely, I do want to love someone, but in the meantime, I have friends, family, a fantastic dog, and interests I’m passionate about, so I don’t feel it very often. I don’t want to settle for anything, or force myself into a relationship so I can prove to the world, or myself, that I am lovable; I simply expect that, if I don’t live as a hermit, I’ll eventually meet someone who fascinates me and maybe it will be mutual.

  • lucy

    why does this article assume that single people go on dates and have lots of sex? because uh, that’s definitely not what my single life is like.

  • lucy

    why does this article assume that single people go on dates and have lots of sex? because uh, that’s definitely not what my single life is like.

    • Preston

      Maybe this article applies to you more than you realize. Did you read the very first sentence?

      • lucy

        trying and succeeding are sadly not synonymous 

  • http://michaelynch.com Michael Lynch

    I’m sure a lot of people can benefit from this piece but it would seem you’re reminding yourself of these things.

  • http://somuchtocome.blogspot.com/ Aja

    I’m seconding Perfect Circles.  This piece nailed it.  I don’t like
    being single, I can admit that.  Sometimes I feel extremely isolated
    from my coupled friends.  But if you can remember these key points, it
    will all be okay.   Good job Stephanie. 

    • http://www.oneyearintexas.com Perfect Circles

      I love you.

  • http://twitter.com/__Farhan Farhan | Official

    Thumbs up!

  • Asdf

    Somewhere triangulated between the wonderful thoughtfulness of this article, the tender introspection of “NICO’s” post and the brash honesty of “FANGSFOO’s” “Masturbate” post  lies the meaning of life.

    I’m convinced of it.

  • http://twitter.com/catedeleon Cate de Leon

    I hate to admit, but the 4th paragraph was a necessary reminder for me, haha!  Thanks, Steph! :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000135790951 Matt Schultz

    ”Don’t dwell on the things you can’t change about yourself: your height or your age or your past. Change the way you think about the those things and be done with them. Remember that everyone struggles with the hand they’ve been dealt; in that way you are very much not alone.”
    hits home/.

  • AA

    I hate how we’ve lumped people into two categories: Single and “alone” or “stuck in your ways” or “restless” and in a relationship or “attached” or “dependent” or “helplessly and foolishly love struck”….can’t we all just exist somewhere in between? Love people, but not try to control them or define it by being “taken”, and have fun and do what we want without it being “selfish”? 

  • Danielle G

    “Sometimes a coupled person, miles away from where you rest your head, will cry himself to sleep because of the loneliness that can exist in a relationship. Remember that.”

    dayum. Powerful. 

  • Anonymous

    yeah that’s cool, might just stick to the self-loathing tho

  • mpop

    sometimes i can’t help to think… i’m too cute and awesome for this bullshit. then again, i love being home and chilling… so…. yeah, i remain just me. le sigh.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1147860061 Brandon Buchanan

    I’ve read this like 12 times. Love it!

blog comments powered by Disqus