Sometimes You Have To Lose Something To Find Yourself

Sometimes you have to lose something in order to see your worth. Sometimes it may feel like you are being thrown away, but you are really being thrown the opportunity to truly understand your value.

Let’s try something. 

Let me ask you, who are you?

Is your immediate insticint to tell me what you do for work, where you live, or who you are in a relationship with?

You are not your role. You are not the person you’re dating. You are not the city you live in or apartment you might be crammed into. You are not your resume, your LinkedIn, and especially not your Instagram account. You are not linear, singular, or one-dimensional.

You are many things, but too often we can’t see ourselves without the things that we attach ourselves too.

So when we lose the things we hold onto, we feel like we’re letting go of who we are. In reality, we’re merely forced to let go of who we thought we were.

It can be devastating to lose something we thought of as sacred or as foundational to our very being. But if we lose that thing? That means we were holding onto it too tightly and it was suffocating us from who and what we were really meant to be.

Whether it’s a job that doesn’t serve our higher purpose or a relationship that hinders our true growth, it’s okay to let it go.

When you strip everything material or relational away, think about who that would make you. What brings you joy? Where do you feel full? What fears hold you back? What are you best at?

Sometimes when we lose the things we think make us, it’s when we get the chance to remake what we think of ourselves. When you lose something and feel like you lost your value, that’s the moment that you’ll see how many things and people you attract that do see your worth.

You just have to be open to seeing it.

Be open to seeing that you are far more capable, powerful, and worthy than how you tend to describe yourself. When you are with less, then you can start to see yourself as more by the opportunities that arrive at your front door.

When no one or nothing is distracting you from that doorbell ringing, that’s when you can invite in the things that really resonate with your higher self.

So, yeah, it sucks to lose a job, lose a partner, lose a friend, or lose something that really held a place in your heart or in your routine. Loss hurts. But loss also opens up space for something else. Loss makes room for more of what you love, and what you love isn’t something you’ll find in your cover letter or dating profile.

The next time you lose something, focus less on the loss and start to notice the shifts in your life and what you start to gain. Become aware of what you attract, what manifests, and what feels like its magnetized to you.

You’ll start to see that you are far more valuable than a name or a title. There is more to you than the routine way you introduce yourself in an interview or on a date. You are more than you give yourself credit for.

Let me ask you again.

Who are you, truly, without anything or anyone else? 


About the author

Sonya Matejko

Writer, Founder & Poet