They Might Not Chase After You

They might not chase after you.

I want you to read that until your eyes start to ache. I want you to internalize that statement. I need you to know- they. might. not. chase. after. you.

I’m tired of the same statements from the same people, about how men or women have come back after months with apologies on their lips and tears in their eyes, begging, ‘Please take me back’ or even simply saying ‘I’m sorry’.

Do you deserve that to happen? Maybe. But it really might not. And that has nothing to do with you.

You need to know that someone else’s decisions never have anything to do with you. And even if something was worth chasing after to you, it might not have been to them. In fact, they might be running from it. In which case, you have no hope of catching them. At one point you all might have had that type of relationship, where either of you would run as fast as you could to catch the other, but you don’t now. And you won’t ever again.

But do we really want to be doing that? I know it’s something people say a lot, but do you seriously want to be running after someone who does not want you to? That would make you happy? You would actually feel fulfilled running a race you can never win?

The more I paint this imagery the more I see that it’s such an unhealthy way to look at relationships. Constantly following one after the other until someone passes out from exhaustion. What if it was easier than that?

What if we gave ourselves the chance to let it go, to let them run as far and as fast in the opposite direction as they can? We can allow that space to be created and give it time to grow bigger and bigger every single day. We can give ourselves time to heal and time to move on. We can do ourselves the damn favor of laying it to rest.

If we knock down these idealistic romantic notions of being chased after and accept the reality of our current situations, we set ourselves up for success in moving forward. We give ourselves grace and understanding when moving on.

We start to chase after ourselves.

That’s what we should be doing anyway. We should be chasing after our now and ever-changing future. We should be chasing after healthier perspectives. We should be chasing our best selves, or at the very least, who we are hoping to become.

If they’re not running after you, don’t sit around and wait for them to do so. Start running in your new direction. Start chasing after yourself.

Start living free.

About the author
Good person, messy eater, notorious plant killer. Follow Shelby on Instagram or read more articles from Shelby on Thought Catalog.

Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.

Related