I’ve argued against that ideology for quite some time.
I understand the thought, honestly, and it’s a nice idea. When something defining happens to a person it’s easy to look at the situation and what you became because of it and say, ‘oh that’s the reason that happened.’
That’s not really the truth though, is it?
You can’t look someone in the eyes and tell them they lost their parents because ‘everything happens for a reason’. You can’t tell me hurricanes and tornadoes wipe out towns because ‘everything happens for a reason’. You can’t tell me people lie and cheat and steal because ‘everything happens for a reason’.
I’m just not buying it anymore.
Do I believe that everything just happens? Yes, yes I do. The thing that makes a difference, the deciding factor, is what you do about the things that are happening. What you make of what happens, how you heal from it, that’s what we need to be focusing on.
I’m talking personal power here. Autonomy. The ability to change and morph and heal and grow. The mind map that brings us to a transformative state within ourselves. The journey we take to becoming who we are now.
Because yeah, shit happens. Shit happens to people all the time. It’s horrible and wonderful and frightening and life altering all at once. But the thing that happens isn’t what you should focus on; it’s what you decided to do about it. It’s the choices you make and the thought process you take that makes the difference.
Life will not stop for you. It won’t even flinch. Things will always happen to you and you won’t be able to do a damn thing about it in the moment. But afterwards? That’s where you shine. That’s where you glow. That’s where you learn.
Everything that happens to you is an opportunity. It’s a chance to wallow or a chance to skyrocket toward a better version of yourself. It’s a chance to grieve and a chance to move on. It’s a chance to change- and change everything. It’s always, always, ALWAYS a time to grow.
But don’t give the situation credit. Don’t say ‘everything happens for a reason’ and that’s how you got better. Give yourself a little more recognition than that. You got better because you chose to. Not because the thing happened- because YOU did something about it afterward.
Don’t give your power away so freely to the world. Take ownership of the change and the growth and the work you put into yourself. Forget that situation, that awful or wonderful thing- the person you are now is because you chose to be them.
Again, I understand why people feel that way. That it all happens for a reason. It’s a sweet little umbrella to live under.
But the rain keeps falling, life throws hailstorms and thunderclouds your way and it doesn’t do so with a plan, it just does. The only thing that matters and the only thing you should think about is where do I go from here?
Once you figure that out- it won’t really matter what happens. You’ll know what to do. You’ll know your platform to leap off of when things get tough. When life- without its’ reasoning’s, without a plan, without caring what happens to you, just happens.
Own your strength. Own your decisions. Own what you choose to do when life throws you curveballs. Own who you become in the aftermath.
And don’t give the situation a damn bit of credit.