Have you ever left a relationship, whether that be with a partner or friend or lover, and never had the chance to wish them well?
Once the anger has subsided, once the roaring pain turns to a dull ache, once your scars begin to heal, have you been able to lay it to rest? Have you had the chance to tell the person you left behind all you hoped for them?
I guess it’s like closure. Though I wouldn’t call it healing for your own mind, but rather a band-aid for the others’ wounds. It won’t fix the hurt, not really, but if you could give them all your well wishes, could it help?
I never really had this chance with many people I’ve left behind or with those who have left me in the background of their life. Most recently I moved myself halfway across the country before I ever could.
But if I did, if I ever got the opportunity, this is what I would want to say:
I hope you take this opportunity and actually get better, like you said you would. I hope you grow up. I hope you value yourself more. I hope you love yourself fully. I hope you feel the burn of your own fire and use it instead of choking on the smoke. You’re powerful, you know that? You are a presence in this world.
I hope you see what I’ve always seen. You really are a magnificent person when you want to be. You can alter the temperature in a room just by existing. I hope you learn to harness that command to push you forward. I hope you realize the jolt you start in people when they see you, the ecstatic shock that pulses through their veins. You’re exhilarating to exist around.
I hope you treat the next person better than you treated me, for both of your sakes. I know you can, if you choose to do so.
I hope life opens doors for you that you never thought possible. I hope it takes you places you never thought of going. I hope it catapults you to the next level. I hate to use this word, but you truly do have such an influence over others. Your reach could be infinite and empowering for people—don’t waste that.
I hope you realize you don’t have to be afraid anymore. I hope you know that life isn’t out to get you; in fact, the number of people rooting for you is quite large. I’m still in that population, despite what you might think.
I hope you cut yourself some slack. We tend to be our harshest critics, but I know that you are your worst. Sure, you’ve done some bad things, but those actions don’t have to own you. I hope you allow yourself some release. Don’t push down your guilt until you can’t find it—accept that it’s there and then let it go. I hope you see the difference.
I hope you learn to invest in yourself. And not with idle things like clothes or shoes or money, not with short-term distractions, but with healthy habits and loving relationships and intense evening chats with quality friends. I hope you learn to rest in the comfort that deep and meaningful interactions can provide.
I hope you remember that what we had was good, even if it’s in the past. Don’t allow yourself to soil the memory just to make yourself feel better. I’ll try to do the same. Let it be a wonderful memory, as unfortunately, that’s all it is anymore.
Lastly, I hope you find an ultimate joy. I hope life hands you buckets of laughter, incredible love, and an inner peace. I hope you become all you are meant to be and more. I hope I’m allowed to see this happen, if only from a distance.
I hope all of these things for myself as well. I hope I maintain this high, this clarity, and this acceptance of the truth. I hope for reconciliation in some ways, and I hope to be able to let the rest of this go.
I hope we become better people who can grow from our mistakes. I hope we can be friends again someday, in a way. I hope that, though love may change its form, it never truly dies.