6 Things High-Value Women With “Emotional Mastery” Never Tolerate In A Relationship

The term “high-value” has undergone a makeover lately and is now being used to refer to high-quality, self-respecting and empowering behaviors and traits. When a high-value woman has emotional mastery, she has a certain level of control over her ability to harness her emotions productively into maintaining high standards, living an enriching life, and setting healthy boundaries in her relationships. Here are six things high-value women with emotional mastery never tolerate in dating or relationships.

Disrespect. In response to disrespect, self-respecting women never overexplain their feelings. They take aligned actions to enforce their boundaries instead.

These are not the women who are writing long paragraphs in their notes app, drafting a dissertation to send their dating or relationship partner how much they’ve hurt them, and outlining exactly how to fix it, begging and pleading for respect from a man. They know from experience that certain types of toxic men thrive on that kind of attention in the dating world, and they don’t have the time to explain to a grown adult how and why their actions are wrong or instruct them on how to come correctly, only for those men to learn from them and effectively cosplay maturity for the next woman. Instead, they walk away and detach before they become too invested in someone who cannot meet their needs. They express themselves primarily through their behavior and withdrawal of attention, rather than their words, and it speaks volumes.

Low effort. High-quality women don’t waste their emotional energy trying to change dating partners who don’t meet their standards.

Energy is currency, and high-quality women know how to best harness that energy to benefit them. The time you spend ruminating over and chasing a dating partner is time you could be spending chasing your goals, dreams, your career, money, and better dating options. Women with emotional mastery know this on a deep level, which is why they’re not willing to spend massive amounts of energy on an unsuitable suitor. They are self-focused and grounded in what they know they deserve. If a man suggests a low-effort date they’re not into, they won’t engage with them further. If he tries to negotiate her standards or tell her she is too picky or high-maintenance, she knows there will be another man around the corner who won’t ever have her starving and malnourished begging for the bare minimum. If she wants to be “well-maintained,” she certainly can be, and she’s not willing to settle for toxicity in the meantime.

Being married just for the sake of being married or having children with the wrong man. They don’t settle for less just to say they settled down.

High-quality women with emotional mastery don’t pursue marriage and children with just anyone just in order to say they’re married and a mother. They’re not desperate for commitment, because their strongest commitment and loyalty are to themselves. When a man knows you desperately crave something, he has ultimate power over you and can hold it over you. High-quality women genuinely aren’t impressed by the thought of marriage because they know that on average, it actually benefits men, not women. They know marriage and childrearing are serious business, and they take it very seriously. For them, being with the wrong man is a liability, not an automatic benefit, and they assess and vet their dating and relationship partners very carefully for compatibility when it comes to attraction, personality traits, financial stability, emotional stability, and emotional maturity. This is why these women tend to end up with great partners, or at the very least, do not settle for toxic ones, and live thriving lives.

Rewarding bad behavior. Self-respecting women with emotional mastery do not reward bad behavior with more attention or people-pleasing. They issue appropriate consequences and engage in “productive” revenge that lasts a lifetime by moving forward into success.

There are certain types of toxic men that will expect you to reward their bad behavior with more attention or people-pleasing, because they’re accustomed to pick-me women who want to maintain relationships at any cost. The high-value woman with emotional mastery is different: she believes in consequences and holding people accountable through her actions. If she finds out a man has betrayed her in some way or is mistreating her, she will ghost him without a word rather than rewarding him with crying spells and “How could you?” drawn-out speeches. Again, negative attention is still attention. You’ll even spot this type of woman on vacation in another country with a much hotter man shortly after such an incident. This is the type of woman who quietly moves on to have the most massive glow-up of her life after a break-up, becoming the most successful, beautiful, richest, and most vibrant version of herself – she makes her exes weep, not the other way around. These are the types of women who are often underestimated because they don’t rage and pine for a man outwardly – they harness all that emotional energy into themselves and catapult themselves into a lifestyle their toxic exes couldn’t even afford. Now that is true emotional mastery, and high-quality women know that the best revenge is success.

Hot-and-cold behavior from a dating partner. High-value women know their intrinsic value and they value themselves above any potential dating partner, so they won’t be tolerating toxic shifts or mixed signals in a romantic dynamic.

High-quality women understand their worth and treat themselves as important. They place themselves on the pedestal and engage in practices that embody that self-love and self-respect. They prioritize themselves and their self-care, their dreams, and their goals. This is revolutionary in a society that tells women on a daily basis that they were only worthy if they are in a relationship. As a result, high-quality women know everything they bring to the table and they are well aware of how their dating and relationship partners benefit from their presence. If a dating partner demeans them after a period of love-bombing them, they will not tolerate it. They treat themselves exceptionally well, so a partner who treats them any less than that only detracts from their life, and they have the emotional mastery to opt out of a toxic situation that has the potential to harm them once they identify the red flags.

They don’t accept the bare minimum just to get anything. They lead exciting and fulfilling lives, and a man is only a small part of that.

High-quality women don’t center their dating partners just because of their potential. They assess people based on a cost-benefits analysis of their true nature. Does this dating partner bring value to their life, or do they create chaos, uncertainty, and more pain? Do they bring romance, excitement, fulfillment, emotional nourishment, or do they bring less than the bare minimum and expect you to grovel for more? If the latter, high-value women know they are worth far more than that and deserve better. They refuse to accept the bare minimum when they know they can get top-tier treatment from other dating options and even themselves, their friends, their peers, and family members. They lead enriching lives, pursue exciting dreams and careers, and have flourishing social networks that give them love and fulfillment in every facet of their existence. Having a high-quality partner on top of that is simply the cherry on top, and they’re not going to settle for anything less than a partner who adds to their life in beneficial ways.

About the author

Shahida Arabi

Shahida is a graduate of Harvard University and Columbia University. She is a published researcher and author of Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse and Breaking Trauma Bonds with Narcissists and Psychopaths. Her books have been translated into 16+ languages all over the world. Her work has been featured on Salon, HuffPost, Inc., Bustle, Psychology Today, Healthline, VICE, NYDaily News and more. For more inspiration and insight on manipulation and red flags, follow her on Instagram here.