10 Horrible Things That Happened When I Lost 30 Pounds In Four Months

I’ve been up and down with my weight my whole life, and I’ve done many INSANE things to manage my weight. The following are side effects from a specific time when I decided to follow an intense diet and exercise plan. The goal was to drop from 170 to 140 in 112 days for an important photo shoot.

I decided to write this, because I know weight loss is often associated with becoming successful and desirable. Well, below are the highlights from my extreme weight-loss journey, and they are anything but glamorous.

1. Developed kidney stones

This was BY FAR the worst thing that happened. My high-protein (low-carb) diet increased the levels of uric acid in my urine, causing the stones. How do I know this? I’m glad you asked…

2. Carried around my own pee for 48 hours

In order for my urologist to determine if my kidney stones were diet-induced, he had me do a 48-hour urine collection. I had to save every drop of my urine for a full 48 hours.

3. Ate food in weird places

I had to stay on a strict eating schedule. I was eating between 200-300 calories every three hours (on the dot). It didn’t matter where I was or who I was with. If it was time to eat, I ate. This led to my eating yogurts in bathroom stalls at work and chicken breasts in department store dressing rooms.

4. Took Ambien to sleep at night

Ever try to fall asleep when you’re really hungry? Well, it sucks. I had this brilliant idea to go to my doctor and convince him I needed Ambien because my boyfriend was in London for work and I couldn’t sleep without him. Truth be told, I just wanted to find a way to “check out” without having to feel the hunger. (This idea backfired, because, in my drunken-like sleeping-pill stupor, I ended up binge eating.)

5. Lost my period for almost two years

I know this seems like a dream come true. But, after a few months of being excited to see it gone, my excitement turned to fear. What if it never came back? What if I wanted kids? What if my stupid diet ruined my womanhood? It took a full two years, a few doctor visits, and a lot a weight gain. But it returned.

6. Had zero sex drive

It’s interesting how people tend to lose weight in order to become more desirable to the opposite sex, but then realize they are so focused on their diet and exercise that the last thing in the world they can be bothered with (or have the energy for) is sex.

7. Had massages to forget hunger

I used this move whenever I knew I had hours and hours to go before I could eat again. I would get 60 (sometimes 90) minute massages in order to reward myself for staying on my diet and workout plan. I also found them to be a great tool for taking my mind of my hunger.

8. Went on aftermath binges

When I concluded my diet and could no longer deny my body the calories it was so desperately craving, I binged. And boy, oh boy, did I binge! I went to dinner (by myself) and ordered pancakes with a side of chocolate chips, butter, and strawberry jelly–in addition to sweet potato fries with a swimming pool’s worth of BBQ sauce and ranch dressing.

9. Poured soap on gummie vitamins (and other delicious foods)

This was my go-to plan for escaping overeating. Whenever I couldn’t control myself with a certain food item, on went the soap and into the trash it went. Why soap, you ask? Why not just put it in the trash? Well, because if I didn’t put soap on the food, chances are I would go back in after it.

10. Gained all the weight back within one year

I now have my weight, period, and sanity back (and I wouldn’t trade them for all the size zero jeans in the world).