1. Their first instinct is always to talk about themselves, no matter the situation.
Light topics include a story about their last vacation, their dating life, or their day in general. After about ten minutes on that topic, they might ask how your day is going.
2. When they reach out to you they put in minimal to no effort whatsoever.
Maybe it didn’t even start out that way, but eventually, you began to notice a pattern in their behavior. The exchange in numbers probably resembles 20% their efforts, 80% your efforts.
3. The times they do put in the effort, it seems more like a transaction than a reflex of caring. You ever meet those people who do things to be polite, and not because they actually want to? Ever look at your friend and realize that’s exactly what they do to you?
4. If they need a confidence boost or reassurance, you are the first person they reach for. You’re really good at seeing the good in people, so you can easily come up with a list of their best traits when they go fishing for compliments or if the topic comes up naturally.
5. They complain to you about their issues gladly, but when you need a shoulder they shrug you off or try to make it about themselves again. If they are in a rough way, you provide a thoughtful support system. If you are in a rough way, they respond harshly in return and are eager to change the subject.
6. You can recall more than a handful of times in a row that you have helped them with no expectations of returning the favor. At some point, you began keeping track because you noticed something a little odd about the amount of
sacrifice you were making for someone who barely thought once about you throughout.
7. Actually, they seem to be around most conveniently when they need a favor, too. Common phrases out of them include “Can I..”, “Will you do…”, and “Do you have…”
8. On multiple occasions, you have gone out of your way or even you comfort zone for them. You didn’t necessarily view this as a chore because you did so with your own free will, but it did leave you feeling more like a pawn and less like a person afterward.
9. And whenever you try to point this out, they don’t respond with gratitude or acknowledgment. Probably because they assumed you were the kind of person that was made for this kind of thing, so it’s not hard work for you.
10. In fact, they down right expect you to be the keeper of their feelings and secrets no matter the situation. They will either tell you so up front or continue to passively push themselves on you without regard for your feelings.
11. Then if by chance you say no, they either internalize it and gossip about you or become aloof towards you in the future. Both are manipulative tactics to draw you back into them while doing the least amount of healthy or productive work possible.
12. When you stop saying yes to them enough, they disappear without a trace.
Or they don’t put up a fight when you decided to stop trying.
13. You sometimes get the feeling that your friendship depends more on your ability to give and their ability to take. You give because you are kind and sincere, but after a certain point, every person has limits – even you.
14. The friendship, at some point, leaves you thinking it’s more of a drain than an asset. Because you genuinely can’t remember the last time you learned something valuable or grew from an interaction with them.
15. You find yourself wondering how the relationship became this bad because it never seemed this way early on. Sometimes a friendship can go south if you don’t see a person’s true intentions early on. You also could be doing something that allows the cycle to continue, so it’s always up to you to pay close attention the people you call friends. Choose wisely.