Realizing that someone you loved or cared about never cared as much or at all is one of the most painful things that you can encounter. There’s really no way to explain it past the fact that it hurts. It’s just difficult to process, and it’s hard to believe that someone would invest so much time just pretending that they loved or cared about you in order to get what they want. It happens, though.
When it happens, it can send a wave of emotions over you. It can make you feel as though there’s no one you can trust. Your trust was shattered by this one person that you relied on so heavily, so what’s the point in thinking that anyone else is going to be any different? Why should you believe that they genuinely care when the person that you believed in didn’t?
You can allow yourself some time to grieve, to question things. Allow yourself to examine the friendships and relationships that you’re currently involved in. Allow yourself to feel the hurt, feel the betrayal and process the lies that you were fed by this person. It’s difficult, and it takes time. You can take the time you need, but eventually you have to keep going.
Some people are only in a friendship or relationship in order to get ahead. They have no qualms about using a person just to get what they want. They want to get on their feet, and friends are there to do that, but dropping a friend after accomplishing things is just wrong. The wave of emotions may range everywhere from pain, anger, frustration at them, frustration at yourself, distrust, and then your self-esteem dropping.
Once you realize that they never cared, though, it can also be freeing. You can move forward, you can let go of the person and realize that they weren’t worth your time. You gave your all, and they gave nothing in return. You may have helped them out with something before they disappeared. You may be in the process of helping someone out when you realize that that’s all you are—a means to an end.
If you have someone in your life that’s treating you this way, the best thing for you is to let them go. Set them loose, and hope that they’re going to change their ways. If they don’t, then don’t spend time talking about them, don’t give them any attention, don’t feed into their dramatic ways. Let them go wander the world and remember that karma can be a pain, and eventually their ways will catch up to them.
I’m not saying that you should wish anyone ill—that’s only going to hurt yourself. Don’t feed negative energy into the world; instead, focus on the positives. Focus on yourself. Love yourself. Easier said than done, right? Take some time to yourself and process things. Process what made you care about them, and realize that overall you were doing the best that you could. You didn’t do anything to deserve someone treating you so poorly.
If someone that you cared for so deeply hurts you, you’re going to need time. That’s the only answer. Time and self care. Find things that make you happy—fall back into your life, yourself. Realize that you are a valuable person, and think about what you can do with all the energy that you were putting into that person. Caring about someone takes a lot of energy, and now that they’re no longer in your life, you’re going to slowly gain it back. Put the care into yourself.
Treat yourself to things that you love, spend some time with your friends, with your family. If it helps, spend some time with yourself. Remember what made you the shining light that was there in the first place. This person was never worthy of the brilliance of your light, and it’s time for you to accept that.
Not everyone we love or care about is going to feel the same, and unfortunately there are people that are more than willing to take advantage of the situation. These aren’t the best of people, and you need to know that you deserve so much better than someone that’s willing to hurt you just for their own benefit.
Life is difficult on it’s own, but the truth is, we can get past this moment, and we all will.