woman leaning back on white wall and using smartphone

You’re Not Weak For Texting Them

You might be feeling a sense of regret for giving in and messaging that person you told yourself you wouldn’t ever again. You could be cringing while reflecting on a time in the past where you did and regretted it soon afterward. You could be thinking about texting them right now. You may have the loud advice from your friends nearby in painful repetition while you hold yourself back from possibly making a huge mistake.

“Don’t text them.”

Sometimes, you’ll take that advice with ease. And other times, it is so much easier said than done.

Sometimes, your entire world is falling apart and the only thing on your mind is seeking comfort or closure from that one person, even for a brief moment in time.

You’ll text them without really thinking of their answer. You’ll cross your fingers that they feel the same way that you do, but in most cases, those high expectations shortly come tumbling down when you realize the answer you want is not the answer you’ll get.

But you’re not weak for giving in and texting them.

Weakness isn’t defined by showing someone you care. Weakness is not wanting to check up on a person you used to love when you’re drunk. Weakness isn’t being open about how you feel in general. And weakness definitely isn’t determined by those mistakes you make, even if you think they make you look like it.

We all slip up. And it goes both ways, too. There have been people in your life that have messaged you after a while to check in. You don’t need to open those closed doors, but there’s no shame in it.

If your close friends and family give you their advice, just know that it’s coming from a good place, but they aren’t feeling the same wave of emotions that caused you to reach out to that person from your past. They have no clue about the thoughts you’ve suppressed, the memories you’ve shared, the love that you still have for that person deep down, or the lack of answers you had from them.

Truthfully, the people around you have good intentions. They do. But the reality is that they aren’t in your shoes. Most people at some stage in their life have given helpful advice but refused to take it themselves. Don’t allow the advice of others make you feel silly, especially if they’re guilt-tripping you for reaching out to that person they told you not to.

And this person you reached out to: If their response or lack thereof has made you feel shame, embarrassment, or regret, just remember that in this world, being open with how you feel is a sign of strength. You may feel absolutely stupid about doing it, and it could have been a one-time thing (or not), but either way, that decision isn’t one that would have come lightly, so don’t be too hung up on it. You are not perfect, but neither are they. And who knows—through one pair of eyes, it might have been a giant mistake, but for another, it could have provided the ultimate clarity.

About the author

Samira Vivette

Author and poet writing about the dark and the light.