10 Relationship Struggles Only Unromantic People Can Appreciate
If you are reading this, you too probably struggle with romance and intimacy. That’s okay. It’s not your fault. We are in part conditioned by mainstream culture to love romance and to feel enamored with the idea of being swept off of our feet. If we don’t live up to this expectation we are perceived as cold, distant, and grouchy. If you need one reminder today, know that you can still be in love without loving all of the mushy romantic nuances. Read on if you are unromantic and proud:
1. You Dread Public Displays Of Affection
It’s not that you don’t love your partner, but you don’t feel the need to be draped on their arm. You don’t need public displays of affection to show others how much you love and care for your partner. This kind of performance has never been of interest to you.
2. You Find That Words Of Affirmation Are Difficult To Articulate
It’s not that aren’t experiencing love, it’s more so that you don’t know how to articulate words about love. With the risk of sounding cliche or unoriginal, you struggle with verbalizing how you feel.
3. You Think An Overuse Of Pet Names Is Icky
You find that pet names can be too much. Your partner’s name isn’t “Sweetie,” “Baby,” or “Honey.” So what’s the point of always calling them by some doting and sappy name?
4. You Get Annoyed By The High Expectations Of Romance
Who said beer and pizza aren’t romantic? Why does that person get to define what romance should be? Your idea of romance can be something as simple as a little wine night or grilled cheese in your pajamas. You find that romance doesn’t have to be a big production.
5. You Are Bad At Planning Grand Romantic Gestures
When it comes to romancing your partner (who is probably much better than you at the art of romance), you sometimes feel like a fish out of water. When you do something that is considered “romantic” it is usually as low key and relaxed as possible.
6. You Believe That Intimacy Doesn’t Always Have To Be Romanticized
Romance has trained us to believe that sex is this deep, passionate, and immensely intimate experience. While sex can be that, it is also so much more. As an unromantic person, you also find sex to be fun, playful, and quirky. Sex isn’t confined to a king sized bed covered in rose petals.
7. You Don’t Follow Traditional Gendered Roles In Romance
You struggle to understand why romance has to have such gendered roles. Why does it matter who pays or who holds the door for whom? Toxic masculinity has directed gendered roles in relationships for far too long. You don’t subscribe to any one narrative, so you feel no attachment to traditional gender roles in a relationship.
8. You Stress Over Whether Or Not Your Partner Knows You Like Them
Articulating your love can be challenging. In return, you worry if your partner knows how much you truly care. You overanalyze how you make your partner feel and whether or not they are happy.
9. You Worry That You Come Off As Fake When You Try To Be Romantic
Occasionally, you try to be sweet and mushy. However, you are always in your head because you worry that you sound fake and insincere. Romance does not come easy to you so you second guess everything.
10. Friends And Family Constantly Urge You To Open Up To Romance
Like a defiant child, you become irritated by the rules and regulations about romance. Some people in your life try to train you to be romantic, which pushes you to be even more unromantic. You like that you can choose how you want to love. While you face some intimacy struggles in a relationship, you live your life with integrity and authenticity. 