Watching you do this to yourself over and over is killing me. You think that it doesn’t affect me but you’re wrong. You can tell me this is your life, but since the day you asked me to swim in the waters with you, I’ve been pulled under by the current. I’m drowning under the weight of the waves covering my skin and filling my lungs.

I’m begging you, please, don’t get reeled back in by their lies.

Hearing you tell me that you’re “only talking” riddles me with fear. What to you is harmless, to me is tiptoeing the minefield.

Don’t you get it? Can’t you see?

I don’t want you to get blown up – that’s why I’m screaming at you, “NO!” But every time I do you still run back to them. It’s like you can’t hear me, yet I know you can. Why do you choose to do this to yourself?

Why do you choose to do this to me – your friend?

I’m only doing this for you and it’s breaking my heart to feel like I’m the only one who knows what the future holds. All I ever wanted was to stop you from hurting yourself, and now I’m scared that one day the damage will be beyond repair. Because that’s what this is – fear.

Seeing you run back into the arms of the one who stabbed you in the back is the same as turning a blind eye to someone slitting their wrists. How can you ask me to do that?  I love you! The last thing I can do is stand back and watch someone take your life. Telling me to stop isn’t fair. As a friend, I just can’t do that.

I’m sorry.

No, wait – I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry for caring about you, I’m not sorry for wanting to help you and I’m not sorry for digging my heels in. Because, I miss you – the old you. The one before they came along and stole you away. And one day, you’ll need a forever friend to turn to, and when that day comes, I’ll be there to help pick up the pieces.

But you’ve got to help me out.

You’ve got to trust me when I say what I say. It comes from a place of care. I wouldn’t do this lightly. Your happiness means the world to me, which is why I’m telling you this just one more time.

Please, I beg of you. Don’t go back to the one who broke you. 

You’re worth so much more than that.