We think that all our questions get answered when we find the right person. We think that the moment we’ve found love, we’ve found a way to happiness that we didn’t have before. We think that being in a committed relationship is the solution to all our problems and, once we have a partner, we can take on everything else. To an extent, this is true. Relationships do make you stronger, more confident and able to face battles you weren’t sure of before. A partner does contribute to your happiness to a great extent and having someone to speak to everyday acts as a great release for our mental and emotional health.
But it’s not that straightforward.
I guess the problem is that loving someone doesn’t come without its fair share of struggles. You think it’d be easy. You think that you’ll find the right person and life will sail smoothly after this. You think that nothing can go wrong after this and the worst of your difficulties are behind you. You think that they’ll never hurt you and you most definitely won’t hurt them.
But it’s not that simple.
With loving someone comes immense responsibility and emotional commitment.
It’s not just about wearing makeup and getting dressed up. It’s not just about going on beautiful dates. It’s not just about having someone you can finally send ‘couple’ memes to. It’s not just about speaking on the phone for hours on end. It’s not just about texting each other cute messages about how much you miss them and want to see them.
It’s about so much more than all those things.
When you love someone, you take responsibility to keep them as happy as you can. When you love someone, you give them responsibility to keep you happy. When you love someone, you put all your trust in them and expect that they won’t break it. When you love someone, you include them in your plans, your daily routine, your adventures, your hopes for the future and your dreams. When you love someone, you strip off your walls and show them your vulnerabilities. When you love someone, you give them a huge part of yourself.
Loving isn’t easy. It’s not as simple as a trip to the park. It’s not always as fun as an adventure. It’s not always as comfortable as breathing.
Yes, there are adventures. Yes, there is laughter and happiness and days out and nights spent in. Yes, there is the kind of peace in their arms that you won’t get anywhere else. Yes, there is comfort, softness and a heart-throbbing excitement that no one else’s existence can bring about in you.
But there are also countless differences. There is compromise. There is stepping out of your comfort zone more than once. There is change. There is anger, sadness and tears. There is so much happiness, but this happiness is often peppered with constant growth and fluctuation. This happiness is a result of two people wanting to make it work together. This happiness is sometimes bitter-sweet.
Love is beautiful, it’s the most incredible experience that can change your life for the better. But relationships aren’t easy, and the more time that passes, the stronger hold you’re your heart that love has.
But when you truly love someone, every difficult step is one that you’re willing to take for them. When you love someone, the compromises are easy, the vulnerabilities don’t embarrass you as much and their smile constantly keeps you going. When you love someone, you will do anything and everything for that person, even if it it’s difficult, even if it takes you out of your comfort zone, even if it hurts.
Relationships aren’t easy, but you can make them as easy as you can when you have someone who loves you just as much as wants to be with you. When you love someone, nothing else matters. Because at the end of it, loving them is so damn worth it.